The Forums › Forums › For The Non-ADD › Relationships › Problems with relationship, How do ya'll deal with them? › Re: Problems with relationship, How do ya'll deal with them?
Remember that “love” only lasts a few weeks or months. After that you are just in love. Things get comfortable and a little stale and for people with ADHD this is when we are holding on in a death grip because we so invest in this that even if it is not working and our brain tells us it is time to go we wrestle our emotions to the ground until we bury it so deep that we never knew we had serious doubts. Well I have been married for 21 years. Let me tell you we fall in and out of “love” with one another but we genuinely enjoy each others company and we laugh at each others jokes that we are still together. Don’t try to force the relationship, if it is meant to happen it will unfold naturally. The greatest indicator of a good relationship is if you have a lot in common. So if you and this girl have a lot of shared interests then you are bound to be doing things together. If not then this relationship is doomed if you do not develop an interest in her things or her in yours. Because then you are always doing things separately, and then you start to turn toward the next “love”.
But for people with ADD or ADHD this is the part where we struggle the most. For the most part we don’t have natural social filters so we are always unsure about how people really view us. Don’t fake interest in her and don’t try to force her to continue to be with you if she shows an interest in getting away. Nothing worse then looking so desperate that you try to morph into her ideal so that you can maintain this relationship. Then you end up angry and bitter when it fails. And remember that you were okay before this person came into your life and you will be okay after this person is gone. You are the best thing that ever happened to you and nothing is sexier to someone else then someone that is confident. Love yourself and find the good in you and then it will help you to develop relationships with people based on what you like to do even if you think people are going to think you are a loser for enjoying it. There are billions of people in the world and somewhere there is someone that enjoys doing what you do. And with the web this makes everyone your neighbour. And as a added comfort people in their nineties still fall in love and get married. So you are never too old to fall in love and you never know when you will find the “one” or “one hundred”.
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