Re: recently (and unexpectedly) diagnosed- and still floundering

[Anonymous]

if anyone is still reading this thread (well done on the continuing attention span there- feel free to get yourself another cookie!), they might get a small chuckle out of this:

i took a careers psychological assessment test yesterday, sponsored by the ontario government- a proper one on paper written by a phd-holding careers bloke.

and apparently my results show that amongst other things, i’d be suited to working in ….

-the police force- narcotics and vice dept

-an amusement park, as a ride attendant

-an airport, as a flying instructor

-a chiropractors office, as a chiropractic aide

now, i could be wrong (its happened before- i’ll admit it!) but it appears that the general themes running through this odd little bundle of ‘occupations’ focus upon:

-being off your head, up in the clouds, or applied manually to other peoples dubiously healthy body parts…..

-tormenting, annoying, traumatising, punishing and/or flat out torturing people

-slouching shadily against walls, bending into odd contorted positions, or wedging myself into small dangerous places,

-the sounds of screaming and/or being surrounded by flashing lights,

-strapping people into restraints, and/or fiddling with knobs and levers,

-hanging about with various unpleasant criminal types, the skantily clad, or thrillseeking masochistic sickos,

and a relatively high risk of potentially horrible death, injury or permanent disfigurement (optionally with traction applied).

so basically i should aspire towards becoming a carnie, a pretend kinky hooker/junkie fiend, frigging little-miss-biggles, and/or spending my days touching semi-naked people? awesome! i can’t even stand on a stool without getting nauseous, and i’m really not built for speed or bendiness, as anyone who has ever met me will attest (attest, damn it!- don’t make me strap you up and torture you!).

*takes another pill and wonders when sanity will kick in*

how did carnie even make it into the same category as vice squad officer and chiropractors aide in the first place? the mind boggles. it truly boggles. perhaps thats a big part of the problem- too much boggling.

at least i didn’t get ‘saddlemakers bottom knocker’ this time, i guess…… that was still in keeping with the banging, bondage and bottoms theme, but at least there was much less less implied risk of loss of life and limb involved.

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