recently (and unexpectedly) diagnosed- and still floundering

[turbo]

“lost 10 lbs and gained 1 dress size”

I think Pamela Anderson experienced the same thing after going to her plastic surgeon. She might have gone up 3 or 4 dress sizes though 😮

turbo

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[Anonymous]

hahahahaha. yeah, no change there, thanks for the laugh though.

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[Anonymous]

if anyone is still reading this thread (well done on the continuing attention span there- feel free to get yourself another cookie!), they might get a small chuckle out of this:

i took a careers psychological assessment test yesterday, sponsored by the ontario government- a proper one on paper written by a phd-holding careers bloke.

and apparently my results show that amongst other things, i’d be suited to working in ….

-the police force- narcotics and vice dept

-an amusement park, as a ride attendant

-an airport, as a flying instructor

-a chiropractors office, as a chiropractic aide

now, i could be wrong (its happened before- i’ll admit it!) but it appears that the general themes running through this odd little bundle of ‘occupations’ focus upon:

-being off your head, up in the clouds, or applied manually to other peoples dubiously healthy body parts…..

-tormenting, annoying, traumatising, punishing and/or flat out torturing people

-slouching shadily against walls, bending into odd contorted positions, or wedging myself into small dangerous places,

-the sounds of screaming and/or being surrounded by flashing lights,

-strapping people into restraints, and/or fiddling with knobs and levers,

-hanging about with various unpleasant criminal types, the skantily clad, or thrillseeking masochistic sickos,

and a relatively high risk of potentially horrible death, injury or permanent disfigurement (optionally with traction applied).

so basically i should aspire towards becoming a carnie, a pretend kinky hooker/junkie fiend, frigging little-miss-biggles, and/or spending my days touching semi-naked people? awesome! i can’t even stand on a stool without getting nauseous, and i’m really not built for speed or bendiness, as anyone who has ever met me will attest (attest, damn it!- don’t make me strap you up and torture you!).

*takes another pill and wonders when sanity will kick in*

how did carnie even make it into the same category as vice squad officer and chiropractors aide in the first place? the mind boggles. it truly boggles. perhaps thats a big part of the problem- too much boggling.

at least i didn’t get ‘saddlemakers bottom knocker’ this time, i guess…… that was still in keeping with the banging, bondage and bottoms theme, but at least there was much less less implied risk of loss of life and limb involved.

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[Anonymous]

Jen,

I love your posting some years ago I was told my profile was so high that they couldn’t isolate any career options, in other words, I could be anything from “ditch digger to rocket scientist” take your pick. You got to wonder who makes up these test don’t you? they must have been either high or on LSD or both!

K

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[Anonymous]

they’re definately on something- that, or having a huge laugh at the expense of tomorrows workforce.

probably a huge psychological experiment designed to keep the masses down, despondent and generally defeated. deep in some secret government thinktank the boffins are most likely sitting around plotting: “ok fellow nerds- here’s the plan: we’ll make all these keen and perky young people take up bizarre and clearly inappropriate careers- so they snap and wig out completely, and then we’ll record and analyse the total crumbling of society as we know it! right team- lets brainstorm- what sort of careers suggestions do you think they’ll fall for?!”

i’ll foil their dastardly scheme by definately not becoming a flying vice-squad chiropractor- you see if i don’t!

*shakes fist menacingly at careers people*

…. i’m only jealous because my profile apparently isn’t so high. well, maybe it is- they never gave it a blood or sobriety test.

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[Anonymous]

Or… another way of looking at it is they all are closet ADHDers with “creative” minds without anything meaningful to do. I took my first aptitude test right after senior high school… took one two years ago and they still couldn’t advise me except, “don’t work with people.” One good thing did happen though my ADHD diagnosis was confirmed and I could finally get it properly treated.

K

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[Anonymous]

i keep getting ‘work with people!’. i keep hoping for “stay home and surf the internet!’… but no, ‘work with people’ it is…..

i get the ‘creative mind and nothing to do with it’ bit. gets me into lots of trouble making ‘witty’ comments on facebook, that does. perhaps it IS time for a job.

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[dspicelady]

Ok Jen, at the risk of hyperfocussing here lol (’cause I’ve mentioned it before, and you just keep showing how right I am-thanks by the way!)…..your description of career aptitudes sounded like a draft of an amazing article! I wish I had the resources, or authority to hire you right now to write, write, write!

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[Anonymous]

so do i! hehehehehe.

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[Anonymous]

i went to the doctor last week, armed with a nicely put together little chart of my symptoms and how/if they’d changed, that i made on the computer -cos i knew if i wrote it down, it’d turn into a novella (which he enthusiastically asked if he could keep- i asked if he was gonna stick it up on his fridge- but he just put in my file) and i rambled on about stimulants….. and he increased my dose of straterra to 80mg instead.

hmmmm. much as i want to grumble, it does seem to be helping- i keep going to bed at midnight, waking up at 8am, and getting up about 9am in the morning. damn it! he broke my lie-ins! grrrr!

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[Anonymous]

Interesting is going to brd at midnight, waking at 8 and getting up at 9 a good thing? No serious I want to know I can’t tell.

K

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[Anonymous]

its probably good. it used to be ‘go to bed at 4am, get up at about 2pm – or as early as 11:30am if i was dragged kicking and screaming from my pit.

the 8am to 9am bit isn’t ideal, but i just like to lie there and seethe and fight the awakedness until what seems like a more civilised hour.

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[Anonymous]

Jen,

I understand.

Thanks

K

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[Anonymous]

Hi Jen – new to this site, about 30 minutes ago….or as long as it took me to read this entire thread. (smile, not yawn). Dspicelady is dead on in her suggestion that you WRITE. You have a great way with words and such a flair! Write, submit (to the papers, not your urges) and write, and submit some more! I’ve learned alot from all of you tonight. Thank you!

While I’ve yet to be officially diagnosed, I’m sure that will be coming soon. I’ll be looking for great advice again at that point.

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[Anonymous]

thanks.

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[Author]

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