I hear ya!
I have felt for a long time that the part of my nature that is ADD and “scattered” and the part of my nature that is non-conformist and creative and “spontaneous” and, occasionally, “rebellious” (“you can’t make me!!!”), are closely linked.
My resistance to imposing (and it does feel like and “imposition”, at least at first) routines and “habits” on myself brings out the 8-year-old in me who DOES NOT WANT TO GO TO BED!!!!!
On the plus side, I’m finding that when I develop habits that really “fit”, and that I can “agree” to, they make life SO much easier. One of the big ones is the keys – I decided on a place for them – in my “bag” – and I have only lost them a couple of times in the last 4 months – and for me, that’s ASTOUNDING. I used to spend so much time looking for them – I was often late for work as a result.
Gotta work on some other habits – for me its about balance. I get to a point where it starts to feel like neuroses, and I get creeped out.
As for the meditation – good on you – I would love to manage that one day, but I haven’t got there yet.