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Re: Short Temper

Re: Short Temper2010-08-09T21:37:29+00:00

The Forums Forums Emotional Journey Is It Just Me? Short Temper Re: Short Temper


Post count: 14413

Speaking of uncontrollable temper, I’m struggling with a dispute right now that has me pacing the floor in the middle of the night. I would feel so much better if I could just EXPLODE on somebody right now. Pardon me while I vent…

The dispute involves a community service organization–a “Club” that is internationally known and very well respected. Just about every town has one. I was president of my local club four years ago. When I left office, there was $38,000 in the “foundation” for charitable contributions, $20,000 in the fund for general operating expenses, etc., plus $16,500 in receivables due in 30 days. We met at an exclusive country club every week for lunch and held huge fundraisers that benefitted the public schools, libraries, underfunded extra-curriculars, and we gave thousands for college scholarships to students in need.

I found out last week that they’re practically bankrupt now. They’ve kept it all a big secret and now they’re blaming it on meal cost, but nothing is being done to reduce the cost or find another venue. Most of it is mismanagement of funds and poorly-promoted and disorganized fundraisers. They even “forgot” to collect dues one year–I sent mine in without receiving a bill, so that should’ve tipped me off. But by damn, they are NOT going to give up their country club!

The problem is that I know every detail about managing this club, and I’m apparently the only one who can see a way out of this deficit without imposing a huge dues increase on the membership. But the new president persists, throwing out lie after lie about what happened over the past four years and how this is the only way to fix it. Four years ago he was my strongest ally. Now he’s just like everyone else–just in it for the publicity, the ego trip, the cool plaque he’s going to get at the end of the year. His main concerns now are how to obtain all of that with the least amount of effort on his part while still covering his backside and avoiding responsibility for the decline.

I know the truth, and I’ve shared it with a few other members, but nobody wants to fight and do what’s right. A dues increase will buy them two years, tops. They’re about to lose 20% of their members and they don’t even know it. Then they’ll have to raise the dues again on a smaller group of people.

My normal tendency has always been to stand alone and go nuclear over stuff like this. I drop bombs. Sometimes sneak attacks. It’s not even fair the way I obsess, present all of the facts, make enemies, make people look bad (which they deserve) and get my way. When you lie awake nights building a case and you’re capable of organizing so many details and facts in your head, most people just can’t compete when you drop the hammer on them. I should’ve been a trial lawyer.

And I do all of this over such trivial pursuits! This is really NOT an important thing! I won’t be missed, except by maybe a handful of members. I’ll still see them around town and socially. I’m not severing any friendships that matter. But this is driving me crazy!

Part of me says, if it’s the true and honest thing to do, the means justify the end. But now I’m realizing that I can’t fight every battle like this. It’s killing me inside to let go of something I put over 1/4 of my life into. I have to walk away and watch it die from afar.

I guess that’s what they mean by “personal growth.”