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Re: So embarassing…but skin picking, anyone?

Re: So embarassing…but skin picking, anyone?2011-01-08T04:04:53+00:00

The Forums Forums Emotional Journey Is It Just Me? So embarassing…but skin picking, anyone? Re: So embarassing…but skin picking, anyone?


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yeah- i have a touch of OCD like this. as a kid i would tap things in even numbers, if i made a certain move like a step, or a cough or a sniff or gesture or whatever and it felt wrong, i’d have to do it again to balance it out/step backwards and mirror it with the other side of my body, etc. i’m still weird about odd numbers- i can’t eat or take offered chips or pistachio nuts or anything singly (has to be even numbers) and you don’t want to know how stupid it feels to run down the path in a panic after your loved-one after he’s just left for work, yelling “that was only 5 kisses! thats an odd number! i need one more! or at least take one back!”.

i used to check lightswitches constantly, i bounce my legs when i’m sitting (you can feel the whole truck shaking at stoplights, and hear my feet bouncing through the ceiling below when i’m in the office, tables bounce from my knees hitting the tops underneath!), i pick at everything, fiddle with drinking straws, chip bags, etc- folding them and tying them in knots and so on.

i will spend hours trying to tweeze hairs that are ludicrously short- giving myself big sore scabby patches as a result- getting upset to the point of tears- i have to yell to my bf to come and take the tweezers away and hide them cos that impulse won’t let me stop, i pick at everything- including zits that aren’t even there, bruising and messing up eversoslightly plugged pores- chew the inside of my face, and whats worse, i get really fixated on it if my bf gets a zit, and will plead with him to let me ‘fix’ it (he won’t, the meanie). i can’t bite my nails anymore cos my teeth don’t meet perfectly now- i’ve worn them down a bit over the years chewing on a facial piercing- but i used to chew the quick on the side of my nails- i clip it now instead.

i also LOVE performing surgery on splinters- its my favourite thing ever. the ritual of sterilising tools, working out the best approach, trying to get it without making your victim wince, and the sense of acheivement when you finally get that vicious little sliver of metal/wood in your grasp and coax it out… its awesome.

yep, i’m a sicko. :P

i think its all about control, as well as compulsion, impulse control and the comfort of structure and repetition in a routine, pattern, etc. i know my OCD tendances started at a really stressful point in my childhood, and flared up again when i got very depressed in my teens.

the main issue i have with OCD is that if you give it an inch, it’ll take a mile. letting a new pattern sneak in on the periphery stick is fatal, cos once its in, getting rid of it is insanely hard.

oh yeah- does anyone itch? i’m crazily itchy and feel non-existant bugs scuttling about on my skin a lot- i take antihistamines for it, or my skin crawls constantly and i’ll scratch myself raw. if i pay any attention to it it gets ten times worse (i’ve had to stop 4 times to scratch during this sentance). i have dermographism, i don’t know how much of it is related to that, but it sucks anyway.