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Re: Survival in an ADD relationship…

Re: Survival in an ADD relationship…2012-09-17T22:07:03+00:00

The Forums Forums For The Non-ADD I Married An ADDer Survival in an ADD relationship… Re: Survival in an ADD relationship…


Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD
Post count: 473

And Too Fat, what you’re saying about ‘I know people who are not ADHD and divorced’ is true. So do I.

The issue is not whether you divorce or not, it’s the rates. And the best studies done show that people with untreated ADHD/ADD have between 2 times the rate of divorce. Compared to their peers they have struggle in academics and social skills. A study done by Russell Barkley and others in 1990 found 46% of ADHD kids have been expelled. And 35% drop out. Brutal.

Numerous studies on our driving skills show that compared to our peers we have 2 to 4 times more automobile accidents than our peers. And are far more likely to be at fault.

A study in Minnesota showed we cost the health care system twice as much. The list goes on and on. Much higher rates of unplanned pregnancies, STDs, getting tested for AIDS, fights with siblings, bankruptcies, suicide, being fired, being unemployed, being ‘under-employed’, drug abuse, gambling, prison.

Not everyone with ADHD goes to prison. But if you’re conservative and say ADHD individuals make up 4% of the adult population, it’s shocking to learn that a study by Biederman et. al. in 1996 found ADHD make up 35% of the prison population. Nine times the rate! Impulsivity… Anger…

Anyway, I know we have all used it as an excuse. It’s hard to find the right balance between explaining where you mess up, and using it to excuse what you’ve done. But there’s a funny tone in what you wrote, or it felt like it to me, which may be why you’ve said you’re going to catch hell for it. It feels like you’re suggesting that ADHD is something you should just be able to manage. That it’s an excuse. And you did it and others should too. Or maybe I’m just reacting poorly. Dunno.

It’s just in the past few years I’ve seen enough MRI images and PET scans comparing ‘Non-ADHD brains to ADHD brains’ to know our minds are wired differently and work differently. We are different in what doctors call structure and function.

The good news? You can change that and develop new pathways, new wiring.