The Forums › Forums › Tools, Techniques & Treatments › Motivation/Staying on Track › Television Addiction › Re: Television Addiction
Ashockley, you’re describing a life so familiar to my own! The fatigue is hard for others to understand. The days are just exhausting to get through and, well ‘relax’? I didn’t find out how to do that until I started on the concerta and I’m finding even that is wearing off.
So, yes, ‘relaxing’ with a hobby is something that has been largely out of my reach too – short bursts of playing the piano for a few weeks then nothing for 2 years, picking up the flute for a week then forgetting I have one for 6 months, scrapbooking lasted a few months and so on and so on.
I need the ‘interaction’ that the net gives me. I have to be doing something with my hands (thank goodness I gave up smoking 20 years ago!) But it’s not relaxing. My sons call my laptop the ‘clickety clackety argue argue machine’ because I like going on forums and newspaper sites and debating issues. The ‘I can’t come to bed because someone is wrong on the internet’ scenario – that’s me. It is not really fun but I find I get ‘sucked in’ and then 5 hours have gone past and I can’t sleep.
Your comment about your brain needing something to hold on to so you can sleep – yes – that’s me and I had never heard of it like that before. That explains it so well. I need the familiar hum of chatter (my DVDs).
Quiet isn’t quiet, is it? But it’s not just the noise in my head, which is MUCH better on the pills. But it’s the other noises. Someone walking home near my house, a car 4 streets away, someone putting beer bottles in their recycling next door, the dog shifting in his bed, an owl, a flippin noisy pigeon landing on the roof, the cats deciding to play in the middle of the night. Whatever it is it’s LOUD and distracting.
I have learnt now that most people don’t hear these ‘turned up’ noises – or they can tune them out. I can’t. Not just noise – light, smells and touch – wool feels like it’s scratching my skin off, anything round my wrists feels heavy and painful, necklaces feel weighed down and choking. I was diagnosed with ‘severe’ Irlen syndrome recently and am waiting till September so I can get some tinted glasses to help. I am using a blue/grey filter on my computer and I haven’t had a single headache since. They’ve been blinding since I was about 13.
Sometimes they’re called overexcitabilities (see Dabrowski) and sometimes they’re called ‘hypersensitivities’ (common in ADHD and autism.) Whatever they are they just turn the ‘volume’ up on everything. So no wonder we bung on a tv or a computer or light up a joint or eat a whole tub of pringles or whatever it is that ‘works’ for us!
Go easy on yourself. Sounds like you’re doing what you need to do and a bit of tweaking it will probably help you get control of it in a positive way for you!
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