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Re: The Sixty-hour hyperfocus COMA

Re: The Sixty-hour hyperfocus COMA2011-01-22T04:00:18+00:00

The Forums Forums Most X-treme! Hyperfocusing The Sixty-hour hyperfocus COMA Re: The Sixty-hour hyperfocus COMA

#94008

Anonymous
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hyperfocus was my best friend at college- cos i’d smoke myself stupid and fritter the term away playing cards in the cafeteria, and then pull something stunning out of my arse on the last week- having locked myself in my bedroom with a stack of art equipment and a walkman on, practically refusing to come out except to pee and eat instant noodles, sleeping amidst the rubble.

its my nemesis now though- cos i’ve lost about the last 6 years on the internet, on a few message boards- writing 12,000 epic posts on one, 20,000 on another, helping newbies with the same really stupid questions that they could find answers to using the search function within seconds, googling whatever comes into my head, over and over again, and so on. and i can’t stop. i’ve asked the bf to take the modem to work, but he won’t.

my impulse control is absolutely zero, and the internet provides that instant gratification with minimal physical effort that i apparently lust after- as soon as my bf goes to work my adrenaline kicks in with excitement, i turn on the computer, and if i’m not careful i’ll find that i’m still there- in my jammies, unwashed and very hungry, dishes still stacked in the kitchen from days ago, cats meowing for attention (the guilt, the guilt!) when he gets home 10 hours later.

i’ve tried to get back into art recently as an internet diversion- and thats turned into a hyperfocus frenzy too- for a week i did nothing but paint a stack of little wooden birdhouses from michaels (which i then discovered will just turn to mush if they go outside to dangle off a tree -grrr! – and therefore discarded)… i’ve moved on to re-painting 8 inch fat plastic duck garden ornaments that were on sale in lowes now- thankfully they were totally discontinued before i amassed a huge collection of them, not that i didn’t beg and nag and coax the bf to let me buy them 20 at a time for 2 solid weeks (failing, thank heavens).

sewing causes the exact same issue- i’ll get rapidly ‘into the zone’, the machine starts whizzing along, and 14 hours later the bf comes to ask me if maybe i think i might want to eat, drink, or sleep at some point, and often has to literally pry me off my chair and tuck me firmly into bed, and refuses to say anything to me other than ‘go to sleep!’ – cos i just cannot for the life of me stop by myself. if i was more patient, it’d be great- but because my skills don’t quite match my lead-footedness, all i seem to manage to create is a big zigzagged, puckered, unwearable mess that sits half finished, hemless and mis-shapen in an ever growing pile of its peers, while i move on to the next brilliant idea for a dress that’ll also never reach fruition- let alone get worn.

i’m unpicking seams currently- buying cheap but practically unworn thrift store xl mens shirts for a few bucks each, and killing them with a stitch ripper- unravelling the thread on the seams- the plan being that at some point i’m gonna turn them into smaller shirts, dresses, etc.

……i’m desperately hopeful that i will, at least- the unravelling and unpicking process is so much fun and do rewarding that i’ve aquired a mountain of sleeves, collars, cuffs, buttons, pockets, plackets, yokes and other bits and pieces of shirt, but i have little to no desire to try and pin them back together into some sort of botched unwearable mess at present.

:(

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