Re: There's a “tone” to my voice that everyone hates

[Robbo]

Wow,

This whole thread has really freaked me out. On a positive note, I can see where I’ve made a ton of progress. Also it helps me to understand why I’ve had so many different kinds of relationship struggles. All different kinds of relationships. They’re all hard. They all deteriorate eventually. Hope is fleeting, but I have learned to grab hope with an intense kind of death grip. That does indeed help. Some relationships have started to last. And I’ve been able to hold on to some a bit better.

I’m just awkward. It’s a horrible, uncomfortable and keenly alienating way to experience life. It’s my excuse to just give up sometimes. Give up trying to learn social skills. I spend soooo much time reading here. Re-reading, again and again. How is it that when I come here I feel like my problems are no big deal, you guys all understand so much of what makes me feel crazy. Even though I’m actually not crazy. Just different.

Way different. I would do anything to get rid of this ADHD crap. I sincerely do like that DVD “ADD and Loving it?!” but I sure don’t love it.

Then, there are those experiences, a lot of them, when I feel like I’m kindof “the life of the party” in different kinds of social situations. And I do get sincere feedback that helps me to really internalize the good experience. Then that doesn’t happen for another year or two!!! CRAP. I’ve been having more good experiences in social situations lately. Since I’ve been coming here, and studying this ADHD um “thing”.

Why is life such a freaking bewildering confounding puzzle. I know a big part of it is the simple fact that we are not the only crazy people in the world. We absolutely MUST remember that many times the problems we encounter are not our fault at all. We are absolutely innocent. Toofat did a good job of pointing that out. And our solution, simple and clear boundaries. Communication. Articulation. And that takes practice. I’m willing to practice more. I’m willing to make the mistakes that I’ll learn from.

In my case what helps is for me to be Spiritually centered. Unselfish in my motives, and willing to let the chips fall as they will. I simply don’t get to have control over every situation and or relationship that happens in my life. I’m at peace with that fact.

It’s a crazy world, and my “insanity” is not more severe than the next persons. Just different. Imagine living in a world where everything and everyone was always predictable and we never had to stuggle. Never had problems to solve.

Well heck, I would just drop dead from lack of stimulation, boredom.

Some days it pays to not get outa bed though.

I’m goin back to my music now.

Thank you n good nite.

peace.

thurs. 12:46 am pst 2/23/12

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