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Re: They DO NOT GET IT….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: They DO NOT GET IT….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!2011-01-14T06:45:30+00:00

The Forums Forums The Workplace Other They DO NOT GET IT….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Re: They DO NOT GET IT….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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TLY, my heart goes out to you. It took me years to get over my last two firings; it’s SO hard not to take it personally!

I know — that sounds absurd. How can you *not* take it personally, when your income and daily structure have been snatched away because you’re “not up to snuff”? But you’re being measured with a yardstick that’s only good for non-ADD people (and frankly, not even very good for them). A lot of people will start out judging you harshly because they sense you’re a different “flavour” of person, and they’re not wise enough to value that. Birds of a feather do flock together — and yet, success in business requires a mix of people with different strengths, and a boss smart enough to recognize the resources at hand and encourage good use of ’em.

That doesn’t happen all that often — but that’s hardly your fault. If they don’t realize that they’re cutting their own nose off to spite their face, them **** ’em. Poverty’s no fun either, but it can be overcome; but stupid? — that’s *forever*. You don’t have to model your self-respect or self-confidence on the actions of stupid (and even underhanded) people.

If you were “sitting in your chair just nodding [your] head” while hating what was going on around you, you were in the wrong place anyway. When you’re asked in an interview why you “left” your last job, explain that you had “a conflict of managing style” and then DON’T add details. Your interviewer does NOT want to hear complaints about a previous workplace; you’d be setting yourself up to be seen as a whiner and ingrate. You’re confident in your ability; push a little, and make sure a potential hirer is serious about the problem-solving you’re being hired to do. If they’re just looking for someone who doesn’t rock the boat, then you probably won’t be happy — again.

There’s a lot of happiness to be had, in the world. Someone who’s depressed is incapable of recognizing it, and you know you’re depressed. So talk to your doctor and make sure that this ILLNESS is being addressed. Looking for work when you can’t see the positive in yourself or in other things is like signing up for a marathon when you’ve got tendinitis. First things first: Take proper care of yourself.

It’s always perplexed me that people come to loathe me when I’m working SO hard to be what they want, but rally ’round when I decide I don’t give a poop anymore and just do what I think is best, even if I think it’ll make me some enemies. Be professional, be clear about who you are and what you want, and be (pleasantly) firm about it. ADD/ADHDers are even lousier than most people at fitting in where they’re not genuinely welcome.

Be pleased that you have family willing to act as a resource while you get your act together. Stop cutting yourself off from people — you know perfectly well, that’s no help to your depression or to your job-networking. If you can do something scary or uncomfortable every day, that’ll stimulate your ADHD brain enough to get it into an up-cycle rather than a down-spiral.

Believe me, we’ve ALL had a lot of crap from life! But ADHDers who’ve found their niche of interest and figured out how to use our strengths instead of just overcoming our weaknesses have enjoyed great success, and so will you. And that’s something to look forward to! “The best revenge is living well.”