The Forums › Forums › The Workplace › Struggling › Thirtyfive years and now there is a problem › Re: Thirtyfive years and now there is a problem
Malevalent,
I hear you. I had that kind of issue a few years ago, but as a perimenopausal woman, it was hormonal, and the ADHD just sort of made it worse. I wasn’t diagnosed at that time. Since then, I’ve gained control over the temper (and the desire to “HULK SMASH” things, not people….), and the realization it’s frustration, not actually anger I was feeling. The main inpetus for getting my assessment was the implementation of a zero tolerance for violence in the workplace, where even an angry outburst could jeopardize my job.
Unfortunately, I’ve discovered to my horror after more than a year of non-stop multiple stressors, I’m failing at my job. The stress is causing anxiety, which is causing sleep issues (trying getting a racing mind to stop at 1 am. knowing you’re supposed to be up at 6:30 a.m.), which means my meds aren’t working effectively, and therefore I’m not working effectively, which adds to the stress, which raises the anxiety…. and the wheels have started to fall off the cart.
It actually took the workshop on Feb. 27 for me to realize all of this, and take steps to try to help myself. I’m changing part of my workload for something less demanding (less pressure from clients, and less chance to screw up….). I’m reaching out to a former therapist of mine, who helped me with depression when I was in my 20’s. Luckily, when I was going through the assessment for ADHD, I found out she’s also treating adult ADHD. (BONUS!) so I’m presently trying to get in to see her to try to find a more effective way of dealing with some of the stressors. Other changes I’ve been trying to deal with that were causing stress, I’ve backed off from, just to give myself a break.
There are still times at work I feel like I can’t do anything right, but I do know I’m making the right moves for myself at this time. Hopefully, I’ll get this worked out, soon. I’m exhausted, in so many ways right now, its an effort just trying to get anything done right now.
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