The Forums › Forums › What is it? › "He can focus when he wants to" › Typical Remarks › Re: Typical Remarks
My dad used to say some of the most thoughtfully hurtful things to me, both when I was a child and as an adult. As a child he used to regale me with all of the usual “…if only you would just apply yourself”, “… you can do anything, if you would only put your mind to it”, which is in stark difference to “You can accomplish anything, when you put your mind to it”. Neither of which ever felt good to me, when I was growing up. He used to send me to my room and punish me in other ways, all for being what I now know is ADD. I remember once when I finished a math homework paper and showed it to him. I was so proud, because I could answer all the problems and I did it in a couple hours, which was quick for me. It wasn’t neat enough for him and he tore it up and sent me back to do it over.
Before my dad died last year, I got to talk to him about my ADD. His comment: “So you are crazy, not stupid?”
My mother is better, she has been reading a lot about ADD and has apologized to me so many times I can’t count. “You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Crazy, or Stupid?” was a difficult one for her, because of all of the short chapters, she was calling me several times a day.. at work, at home, saying “I never knew! I am so sorry, son”
Moral of the story: Parents are difficult to raise in today’s world. You have to teach them early, before it’s too late. With a positive attitude, persistence, and a little patience, they can be taught. I am sure grandparents are tougher, but they don’t have as many distractions.
REPORT ABUSE