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Re: Understanding a partner with ADHD

Re: Understanding a partner with ADHD2011-01-13T06:42:50+00:00

The Forums Forums For The Non-ADD Other Understanding a partner with ADHD Re: Understanding a partner with ADHD


Post count: 14

It’s great to see so many ADDers who are actively working on way to live successfully with ADD. My boyfriend was diagnosed several years ago and was put on Ritalin. But refused to read any books or go to a counselor. I caught the “ADD and Loving It” movie several weeks ago and showed this site to my boyfriend. He has viewed and read darn near everything on the site, and – at first – I was really happy about that. But all he has done is use the information he has learned as a “weapon” in our relationship and to keep himself in his favorite position of “victim”. See, he can’t help that he hasn’t learned anything from his mistakes and keeps repeating them over and over (like giving access to our checking to Get Rich Quick schemers). It’s his ADD. He can’t give up porn because of his ADD. He can’t work more than a few hours a week because of his ADD. He can’t be expected to have a meaningful conversation because of his ADD. According to him, I am supposed to be a font of patience and love and tolerance. . . indefinitely, not just while he learns better coping skills. See, because he *can’t* learn anything, he has ADD. How silly of me to not realize that ADD is a Free Pass For Life for irresponsible, emotionally-abusive behavior.

I wish I could find some *real* support for partners of ADDers.

(And, no, I can’t kick him out because I’m unemployed and would lose my house without his meager income.)