Re: Understanding a partner with ADHD

[Anonymous]

Question?

Any tips on how to approach the husband finding professional help? Should we be doing this as a couple?

I’m still no further forward. I’ve talked to my husband regarding a coach but he just keeps saying, “what is a coach going to do for me, when other professionals haven’t worked for me in the past?”

He’s just returned home after 2 months away working. The first month away was extremely challenging and he again wanted me to get all sexy over internet chat, even asked me to take a photograph of my ass and send it to him……………Many would laugh, and even send the photo, but because of the past, in my eyes it makes it feels seedy. I made a decision to shut down communication and made sure we talked over the phone instead. The point I’m making here is the fact I’m not comfortable with any of this and have repeatedly expressed my feelings but he still tries, which makes me feel very irritated, angry and upset he’s not honouring my feelings. MORE TIME ON THE COACH,…… AGAIN! I had to take a time out. I think he finally got it. The second month was so much more manageable.

My councillor recommend maybe taking time out of my marriage to make him understand we’re not managing our lives well this way and we need to come up with a plan. Sometimes actions speak louder than words. He was extremely upset and angry at this and a whole mixture of emotions came flooding out. In one breath he said go then he tells me he cannot live his life without me. I said we needed to work on us when he came home and he was furious that I was taking up valuable home time on this, and I’m nothing but dome and gloom. We spent the first night home, mostly me sobbing and not able to make much sense! And him getting angry and upset. I’m still not feeling emotionally connected to him and find intimacy a struggle. Yep, try telling that to your husband who’s been away for 2 months!

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