Hi, i’m 31 and 5/12th years old, I was diagnosed in January of this year. I always thought that my childhood was a normal one. When I found out I have ADHD and started learning so much about it I found that my childhood was not typical, I supposse on the forum here i’m just another part of the average.
Socially I spent most of my of my time alone. I’ve always felt like an outsider and being an orphan didnt help. My adopted parents are great, I never knew my birth parents and i’m sure there is some psycological things going on there. My mothers side of the family was/is great. My fathers side being from the south had a nice outlook on anyone not from the south and not white. My father would always tease my sister and I about how we were our grandparents and uncle’s favorites despite being Korean. Not so funny now huh? Maybe too much information? Even some of my earliest memories are of me playing alone, or being alone. I had 2 step-brothers and a sister, I had some friends but always felt like an outsider in the group. Due to chronic academic failures throughout my entire childhood I stayed in a state of perpetual trouble at home and at school, (nice segway into the academic part huh?) School was always horrible for me. One of my earliest memories from school would have to be not being able to sleep at night because of stress, (how in the world at age 5-6 does that happen?) getting into trouble for going over my ABC’s and not being in bed. In 1rst grade, I got my first F that I can remember. My mother told me that when i was even younger than whatever age i was in 1rst grade that I would refuse to do my homework. I’d cry and throw a fit and would scribble on the paper in the same place until I would wear a hole through the paper (I didnt tear it, It wore through). Moving on, I was labled the “class clown” in 4th grade. This carried over into 5th grade which resulted in being held back a year. Around this time the school that I attended wanted me to see a counceler and suggested to my parents that i may have a “Learning Disability”. I understood quite well what that meant for my future and did not allow testing. I told the counceler what he wanted to hear and slipped through the system. 6th grade was my best year of school I think. My teacher was known for being mean and scared the “…..” out of me. I still continued to struggle but out of fear did what i needed to apease her and my parents. Jr. High didnt go so well and the pattern stayed about the same academiclly speaking. In social terms this is about the time I started smoking ciggerettes, I had my first real drink of booze and taste of marijuana which continued for the year. This was also the first time I got into actual trouble with the law. Well it happend a couple of times actually. My freshman year of Highschool was the worst. How could a hyperactive, immature minority in a small town school system get along? I was back into the class of being an outcast with some other friends of mine who in retrospect may have had ADHD.
Highschool I got along fine but continued to slip through the cracks, Throughout highschool my experimenting with other drugs continued and my drinking became really bad. My Senior year I had 1 class left over from my freshman year of highschool (U.S. History). I had 2 F’s with 6 weeks of school left, and I had to pass. I was pushed through; my son had been born in Febuary of my graduating year in 1998. I think the teachers collectivly thought my head was in parenting and not in school so thats how that went.
My over feeling is that it happened way too fast. I’m remorsful that i didnt take the advantage I had in 5th grade (the second time around) when the school wanted to test me for an LD. At the time though LD was thrown around a lot and was a generic term used for anyone with any kind of mental health isue. I didnt (at the time) want to be classified by the system and my peers as “retraded or stupid”. Obviously this is not true and we all know better.
Sorry this is such a long reply, it seems like I may have some stuff to get off my chest.REPORT ABUSE