Re: What's the worst thing you have ever forgotten?

[Robbo]

This was tons of fun to read, but at the same time it makes it a little easier to stop working at getting better. Some of these stories brought up some painful memories. Unfortunately there are some things I don’t want to remember.

A couple years ago when I first tried Marinol, That’s synthetic THC pills. It was for chronic pain, so I had to take a very high dosage, extremely bad for an already poor short term memory. I got much much more forgetful. So I came up with tons of different ways to exercise my brain, weird stuff like typing text messages with my phone sideways. Writing with my non-dominant hand, anything that really made me focus, brain sweat. I was in the hospital at the time, so I started writing down every persons name that came into my room. That’s a ton of people!, each one I would assign a native american name for, based on the most obvious things I noticed or just sensed about them, was great when I would be able to call them by name the next time they came in, and I was on tons of other painkillers at the same time. A few years ago I heard that keeping any random thought in my head longer than 30 seconds will help the chemistry of short term memory work better. I got some of the brain exercise ideas from the new Neuroplasticity research, and discovery. The time I spent thinking up Native American names (Dances with Wolves, Stands with a Fist) in the hospital kept me thinking about the subject longer than thirty seconds. The extra time some of us need for the chemistry of memory to happen. Open mindedness is a magical, powerful phenomena.

Do yourself an excellent favor. Look up (run a search) Neuroplasticity. This link’s pretty good, http://memoryzine.com/2010/07/02/introduction-to-neuroplasticity/ Some of you guys know I got hit by a truck about 15 years ago, I had a helmet on, and up until a few months ago I didn’t think I had any kind of brain injury. That’s because they didn’t do much testing for me. I probably have a very high IQ, I think way different. So when they asked me about my memory after the accident I honestly could not tell if my memory was affected because I had always been very forgetful, real bad. So I spent the next 15 years not knowing I actually did have a brain injury, a very minor one. I was still able to figure things out relatively quickly, like my first computer… even after going back to smoking pot after about 9 years complete abstinence, it does actually work for Neuropathic pain. So during the ADHD testing process I found out being knocked out at all, and not remembering what happened directly after was a textbook definition of brain injury/concussion. I don’t remember the first 10 days after that accident. This new insight encouraged me to work even harder on the Neuroplasticity. It applies to stroke survivors, TBI, Alziemers, (dang, spell check can’t figure out what I’m trying to spell, Altzeimers?) and of course it applies to ADD forgetfulness. I’m kind-of stubborn about accepting my own limitations. There’s always a new way to get stuff done. That’s how I’ve survived becoming a wheelchair user at the age of 31, without ending up in a psyche ward. I always carry tongs with me in my power chair cuz when my butterfingers let go of something, I can’t still reach the ground without tongs. The power chair makes me about 8 or 10 inches taller than when I’m in the manual wheelchair.

I realize this thread is mostly for fun and self acceptance. That’s how it has served me for sure. But I like feeling grateful when I grow past what sometimes turns out to be self imposed limitations. It’s true, we have a real disability. Our brains are wired different. But without conforming to anyone else’s idea of “normal” we have to give ourselves freedom to reach almost any goal we set our minds to. Maybe the trick is knowing when we’ve done our absolute best. When to be satisfied and spend our energies on more productive goals, When to just take a break, and let out subconscious work out a problem. Many times a solution to a problem I took a break from just pops into my head. The same way I suddenly find something I lost when I quit looking for it, or suddenly remember something important I forgot. I got lucky, I have an open mind about faith.

I have to have faith in that subconscious part of my brain. Some Christians call this the Holy Spirit, I’m not sure labels matter as much as faith in whatever it is that’s helping us. For me it’s God, and I don’t have to understand God to be helped. Just trust.

I don’t want to stop the fun here, but I have a strong desire to bring a new perspective into things. There’s got to be some kind of balance between not being too hard on me, and also not letting myself become too flippant about important things. I wonder if I’ll ever find that balance. I won’t make it too urgent. I know that will help.

It was fun reading all these stories the second time this morning. One cool thing about being forgetful is being able to enjoy movies several times cuz we miss a large part of the story being distracted by fireflies, n smells, n daydreaming… :o)

I’m here because ADHD has caused me some real pain. All kinds of pain, especially the guilt kind. Thanks for helping me give myself a break as I recover.

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