There’s good stuff in what you say, Fearwidg. It’s a challenge to change lifelong habits, and to realize those habits and behaviours are not you, just stuff you’ve done.
The diagnosis is difficult and tricky. So you need a reliable doctor. But doing a lot of reading ahead of time is good. The videos on the symptoms and diagnosis get into some of that.
One of the issues I still struggle with, and I’m wondering if this is common with other ADDers, is that I have this need to control everything. I like things planned. I’m not big on surprise parties. I want to know where the kids are. It shows up in a lot of little ways, worrying about things or events before they happen, making sure everything is ‘covered’ and everything that could go wrong has been anticipated.
And when I have people working for me, I often give them a job, then end up taking it back when they do one aspect of it wrong. Rather than make sure I explain it well, checking often to see how they’re doing and giving them feedback I go to, “It’s just easier if I do it.” And so I end up stuck doing the stuff I want to pass off. I think this lack of trust in others is partly a result of stuff going wrong in the past and me having no idea why.
I wonder could it also be, since there are things I’m not good at, and struggle with, I can’t imagine someone else can breeze through it, and could actually come up with better results, or at least different but equally good results, if they took it on.