first of all, spam reported – this cheap beats is really getting on my nerves.
now back to topic. when i first realized i more than likely had add, i had the same question. i angrily thought all these years the signs were there. from my 4th grade teacher thinking i had a brain tumor, to a high school teacher looking into my school records to find out what was wrong( kind of strange when i think about it because i was basically getting b’s in her class, but she responded that she saw in my records i was “gifted” and thought i should be doing far better work, i needed to apply myself yadayada…hmmmmm)….to completely and utterly failing at life – not just school – when i went away to college and the structure of parents’ home and school system were gone….to continuing to struggle with basic life tasks all these years, despite having eventually gotten my doctorate degree, people over the years telling me i daydream too much/space out alot/in my own world,….
my own mother was an elementary school teacher, also i have friends who are trained social workers – one who has known me since 5 or 6 years old, i have seen a handful of psychs over the years – only one even mentioned the possibility that i had add, but when i responded i didn’t think i did( in my mind adders could never concentrate, etc), it was just dropped – no further questions. i can go on and on……
now i understand why i was not diagnosed as a child – simply, way back then when i was a child people didn’t know about ad/hd. and in the 90s when it was being widely diagnosed and treated, it was still largely considered a childhood disease. so unless i saw a child psych when i was in my 20s/30s…well most adult psychs aren’t looking for it….and even if they have more training to recognize adult adhd, it’s still diffiult to diagnose, especially when there are other psych issues at play.(as explained by my current psych)
so, i’ve moved on from why wasn’t i diagnosed as a child – or even as young adult – to just wish i had been. wish it hadn’t taken to reach middle age to understand myself better, to get appropriate treatment and tools and support.
and , trying to move away from the anger/ resentment and onto, well, moving forward. mostly the anger has dissipated, but it still occasionally rears its ugly head. it just doesn’t serve any purpose to wallow in regrets …wasted way too much time and energy doing that over too many years already.
i’m scheduled to have my first psychiatrist meeting next week. i’m hoping he’ll put me on meds right away, and hoping they will be ones that help, and with manageable side effects. and that that, combined with therapy and coaching (which i also started recently) and tips and support from here..i will find my way to peace, success, and, – dare i say? – happiness 
whether or not to confront your parents? i’d say, like robbo, wait til you are feeling calm – and definitely not when feeling angry. like nellie said, most parents want the best for their kids and are not out to sabbotage or hinder them…despite what it may feel like sometimes. so maybe just try not to come from a place of blame, but rather a place of discussion/education….just let them know what’s going on in your life and how you’re working hard to minimize the impact of the negative aspects of this condition and to tap into the good parts to realize your full potential…and you could use all the support you can get
and, as wg said, those of us with children, our children will benefit from what we have learned, though the learning came pretty late for some of us. but that is a comfort to me too, that hopefully i will do better for them with the knowledge i’m aquiring, and the tools i’m learning, and the supoort we share here.
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