Re: Women w/ ADHD Inattentive Type – anyone out there?

[Anonymous]

I was diagnosed with ADHD approximately 1 1/2 ago, in addition to having bi polar disorder which was diagnosed in 2003. I have been taking 30mgs of Vyvanse and it has helped tremendously. When my psychiatrist discussed the possibility of ADHD, I thought “Great, one MORE thing wrong with me. ANOTHER pill I have to take.” there was the added ‘bonus’ that a potential side effect of the Vyvanse is that it could cause increased mania (no picnic, trust me!) but we discussed my symptoms. He started asking me questions and this light came on, of course, I spent the next week OBSESSING over my childhood, my behavior in the past, everything. My life was always lived ‘halfassed’. I knew that I was capable of doing things, but just could never ‘do’ them. I could never articulate it to my friends and family because it sounded like an excuse. I was old enough to know better. I should just pull it together. I was surviving. I had a decent job and a roof over my head, but I am living paycheck to paycheck in a place that isn’t my first choice. I let life make choices for me instead of vice versa. From all appearances, I was more lazy than anything else. Once my doctor diagnosed me, I talked to the people I was closest to about the diagnosis, but it still felt like even though they ‘got’ it, they couldn’t truly get it. It was almost as though the thinking was “Okay, now you know what’s wrong and they gave you a magic pill. It should be cured, right?” The medication has been truly a savior for me, but I was starving for behavior modification. I could focus, okay now what? How do you ‘re-start’ your life as a 34 year old who was recently diagnosed with ADHD? So much to fix, where to start? My doctor asks me questions whenever I see him (every three months), but his role is more to monitor the meds and their effectiveness. I got a compass and a map and was told “Go!” I found myself actually getting depressed because I felt so helpless (so much for the fear of manic episodes. Ha!) This site and the film “ADD and Loving It?!” were the very first resources that I saw that spoke to me, and I finally feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I sat and watched the movie and cried. I told my sister it was like a religious experience. FINALLY someone could tell me all of the things that I didn’t know. I had NO IDEA there were ‘coaches’ for people like me. I now visit this website daily and am taking all of the challenges. I know that I have a long way to go, but for the first time since I got diagnosed, I have hope in addition to answers.

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