Faequine – my initial thought here is that your other half is a bully. That’s nothing to do with your ADD, it’s his failing and not yours.
To me, he seems pretty unreasonable. He wants a slave and not a partner.
Sorry if I have misinterpreted or said anything hurtful, but you need quality of life. If he wants the house cleaning better then he should hire a cleaner if he’s not prepared to pull his weight. He has the issues – not you.
Please don’t try to be all things for him if he can’t appreciate you. 🙁