Reply To: Bad Situation Getting Worse

[L8ly Lost]

Hey Flowzonegal . .  . .   I think you are on the common roller-coaster of emotions ‘post’-diagnosis.  and I think this roller-coaster is harder for those of us who get diagnosed later in life.  I was diagnosed in my early 40’s . .  and yes, it was ‘exciting’!  Actually, it was like a huge burden off my shoulders.  There IS a REASON I am the way I am.  I’m not trying to be ‘difficult’, or rude, or ‘strong-willed’ (I’d probably be strong-willed w/o this disability!), or lazy, or disorganized . . etc etc etc.    And yes, the sadness and depression I think are part of the course for dealing with the diagnosis.  I can often get ‘stuck’ in all the negative impacts this undiagnosed disorder had (and still has) on my life.  I’m now in my 50’s and there has been but 1 job in my entire life (and there have been sooooo many jobs) that I didn’t have to leave before getting the boot!.  Depressing is an understatement if I dwell on it!  But I have to remind myself that I cannot/could not “fix” what I couldn’t see/understand.  While it looks like I have “screwed up everything” . .   I have actually been very successful . . despite my disability.  As have you!  You have a husband and children to support you.  Get them involved.  They may be your biggest assets in helping you manage this disability.  And never forget that this is a Disability!!!  I have to lean on that . .  to keep my sanity.  There is only so much I can do to re-wire my brain . .   but I will still miss deadlines, forget things every day etc etc etc.  If we could “fix” it – it wouldn’t be a ‘disability’.  That’s the point . . .  the best you can do is MANAGE it . . there is no Fix – no meds to permanently rewire your brain.  Only meds to help you Manage  your disability.  It’s all about management . .   and maybe that is the ‘fix’ – learning to manage.

And find a new Psychiatrist!!  You deserve someone who will work With you!

Good luck . .   and write, write, write . . if it helps you manage . .  we’re here to read . .   and reply when we can

l8lylost

 

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