Reply To: I Just Can't Get A Project Done

[dithl]

@jojosephine:

Oh, gosh, the memories of being a stay at home mom…your children and all the household chores nagging at you are expert distraction machines. Yes, “Tons of stay at home moms have side businesses that are successful.” If I could count the number of times I said similar things…why do we do that to ourselves? Don’t worry about all of those other moms. Assuming you have a diagnosis, you are dealing with an entirely different kettle of fish than they are. Look for the large and small victories in your day — e.g., child(ren) fed? SCORE. Bonus points for each and every cuddle, even if it takes you away from what you “should” be doing.

As for your dilemma:

Time Management:
“I way underestimated the delivery date and the time to work on the project so I have now have a to tell them that the project is going to take 5x as long and I am making about $0.05 /hr.”
— pencil that under the category “professional development”. (Hands-on training in time management). Let this one go, time management will probably be something you will work on a lot. Meantime, a quick tool that may be helpful — pomodoro technique, helps you work through big projects in 25 minute spurts of activity. Here’s a link to their free downloadable “cheat sheet” and to-do checklists. http://www.pomodorotechnique.com/goodies/

Negative Thinking, A.K.A. Dread
You are attaching a lot of negative thinking to this project. Reasons why you can’t progress with it, what will happen if you don’t finish it, how failing at it would really impact you. That’s normal…but unfortunately, it gets in the way of accomplishing things. Try (? wish I could say how…I do this too) to acknowledge those thoughts, then put them on the shelf and….

Pick One Thing.
…choose just one task to get you going. Anything. If you are mentally fried, make it something physical, even cleaning up your workspace. It might seem to be a trivial part of the overall picture, but the important thing is, picking one thing gets you over the inertia and can help you un-freeze.

Alone Time
Is it possible to get that somehow during the day? Personally, my mommy brain doesn’t turn off when family is around. Everyone is different, but it can be very hard to switch to a different track. Can anyone mind your children for an hour or 2 even one day a week? Can you work easily in the home, or would it be worth it to set up in a coffee shop or a library? If home is the only option, then you need to carve out time when you are mentally alert to work on your project. Really hard to do to take that time. But it’s not taking time *from* your family — you are a better mom if you are engaged in your creative work too. Write it in Sharpie on the wall if you need to – e.g., “1:00-2:00 is MOM time. Do NOT disturb unless something or someone is on fire.” After they are in bed — yep, way too late.

Will medication help?
Probably. Everyone is different, and it can take time to figure out what works for you. For me, it helps by 1. Allowing me to block out distractions 2. Think and plan more effectively 3. Not feel absolutely exhausted all the time — before, I would also be just a zonked noodle once the children were in bed. Now, I can actually choose to do work in the evening.

In the meantime…
Keep connected. This is an awesome place to go for cheers, hurrahs and commiseration. Keep us updated on your progress! Having someone friendly to report to can be great for accountability 🙂

REPORT ABUSE