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Reply To: My marriage

Reply To: My marriage2013-12-04T23:27:04+00:00

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It’s a little hard to give advice on this one because only you know what will work. But you should probably start by having a talk about it. And apologize. Even if you’re not wrong.

Second, like the others said, get some books that both of you can read. Or look on line, watch some videos. It’s important for both of you to understand how the ADHD mind works and why you do the things you do.

And if it’s possible some counselling might be helpful, either individually or together. Just having someone else there to mediate your discussion and give you an outside perspective and maybe some different ideas that you wouldn’t come up with on your own.

And you have to “own it” as you said. That is a very good place to start, to recognize what you have done and how it has affected her. But be careful not to blame yourself and feel guilty about things that were beyond your control.

I have a huge problem keeping the house clean and organized. And I mean HUGE. And I feel really terrible about it. But now that I know that I have ADHD and I know why I have so much trouble keeping up with things I am able to deal with it a lot better. I have to take responsibility for it and figure out a way to deal with it, but I don’t have to blame myself. Letting go of the guilt makes it possible to move forward and start to make things better. I am learning why I do what I do and what I can do differently to make it better.