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@bigchi “If I could stay consistent with this stuff, life would be so much easier.”
You just defined ADHD in a nutshell.
I am only beginning to learn myself so I don’t have a lot of advice. But it helps if you can make something a habit and then reinforce that habit. And don’t try to do it all at once. Change one thing at a time.
The habit I am working on right now is making a to-do list on my white board every night before I go to bed and reading it every morning when I get up. And then doing as many things on the list as I can and checking them off as I go. I am not worrying right now if I actually get the things done or not. Every night before I erase it I take a picture of it with my phone so I can go back and look at how much I got done each day and see if I am making any progress. That is important for me because I have trouble telling for sure how much I am actually getting done and I get overwhelmed very easily.
The ADHD will always be there. And the depression will likely always be there too, although it can go into remission. Your assessment of what it’s like with and without meds sounds about right. It will always be an uphill battle. You have to try to find ways to fill in the gaps that the meds don’t cover.
I spend an embarrassing amount of time talking to myself. And not just in my head. Most of the time I am off on a wild tangent chase but sometimes I use it to help me focus by talking things out step by step- “okay, first I have to peel the potatoes and get them in the pot, then I need to chop the carrots…”
It sounds like you’ve been doing a lot of CBT. My therapist wanted me to get a dog. I told him the last thing I need is something else to take care of. But if taking care of them isn’t a problem then they can be really nice to have around. In addition to the unconditional love they also give you a little more structure because you have to have a routine for walking, feeding, etc. and that can really help to keep you grounded and focused.
In the end, all that matters is what works for you. And that will be slightly different for each of us. Now I need to shut up and go read my copy of ADD Stole My Car Keys that just arrived in the the mail. 🙂
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