One of those days…

[blackdog]

I didn’t say the clutter doesn’t bother me. I said I don’t like people going through my stuff. I am capable of getting it cleaned up myself. I just wasn’t able to focus on it before because I was trying so hard to keep up with other things like work. And I get distracted when I am at home and forget to do things that need to be done.

I excel in academic environments. You can pretty much plunk me down in the middle of any classroom, any subject, and I’ll ace it. (with the exception of math and all things related to math that is). But where my challenges really show up is when I have to apply myself in the real world. Learning stuff is easy. Remembering to set my alarm and getting up and getting to work on time,  that’s hard. Really hard. If I won the lottery I would do nothing but take college courses. I would become a professional student.

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[bigchi]

@blackdog, I still get depressed and still have all the ADHD crap with the meds. The hardest part is finding a something that helps and sticking with it. Honestly, I had read that book I suggested started using some of it. Then I forgot about it. I just found the book again and started using it again (last couple days). If I could stay consistent with this stuff, life would be so much easier. I don’t know about you guys but it gets tiring constantly looking for something to fix all my problems.

@gforcewarp9, as far as cleaning your place. Try inviting someone over to your place, but set it up for a couple days later. That way you have the extra pressure to clean up your house. I’ve also tried using a timer and see how fast I can do things. That sometimes helps.

I adopted a dog a few months ago and I’m fostering another dog. They really help out. They are always happy to see me. It feels pretty good to have them around.

To make new friends I suggest checking out meetup.com

Good Luck!

Mike

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[bigchi]

I thought I included this, the anti-depressants help but I still get depressed sometimes. I would say without meds I was at 75% of the time depressed, with meds I’m at about 25%. I’m also on Adderall which helps me. Except for right now, as I procrastinate getting back to work and posting on forums. 🙂 Trying to have self compassion is difficult but you gotta give yourself a break, I think. I try to talk to myself in my head like a friend would. It is difficult to keep the negative thoughts out.

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[blackdog]

@bigchi  “If I could stay consistent with this stuff, life would be so much easier.”

You just defined ADHD in a nutshell.

I am only beginning to learn myself so I don’t have a lot of advice. But it helps if you can make something a habit and then reinforce that habit. And don’t try to do it all at once. Change one thing at a time.

The habit I am working on right now is making a to-do list on my white board every night before I go to bed and reading it every morning when I get up. And then doing as many things on the list as I can and checking them off as I go. I am not worrying right now if I actually get the things done or not. Every night before I erase it I take a picture of it with my phone so I can go back and look at how much I got done each day and see if I am making any progress. That is important for me because I have trouble telling for sure how much I am actually getting done and I get overwhelmed very easily.

The ADHD will always be there. And the depression will likely always be there too, although it can go into remission. Your assessment of what it’s like with and without meds sounds about right. It will always be an uphill battle. You have to try to find ways to fill in the gaps that the meds don’t cover.

I spend an embarrassing amount of time talking to myself. And not just in my head. Most of the time I am off on a wild tangent chase but sometimes I use it to help me focus by talking things out step by step- “okay, first I have to peel the potatoes and get them in the pot, then I need to chop the carrots…”

It sounds like you’ve been doing a lot of CBT. My therapist wanted me to get a dog. I told him the last thing I need is something else to take care of. But if taking care of them isn’t a problem then they can be really nice to have around. In addition to the unconditional love they also give you a little more structure because you have to have a routine for walking, feeding, etc. and that can really help to keep you grounded and focused.

In the end, all that matters is what works for you. And that will be slightly different for each of us. Now I need to shut up and go read my copy of ADD Stole My Car Keys that just arrived in the the mail. 🙂

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[bigchi]

@blackdog, What really has helped recently with my to-do list is I have a notebook and on the side I write down the times 8, 9, 10…. Then I put the items on my to do list slotted into different times. Otherwise, I’ve had problems with looking at the list getting overwhelmed and doing nothing. Then I’ve totally avoided looking at the list. The notebook is easier to carry around. I think the trick is to find what works for you. There isn’t any one way that is going to work for everyone.

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