best time to talk to people about something you’d like to see them change is when it’s NOT happening. So you might approach this relative, during a “neutral” time, and try this process:
1. Validate: You’ve been doing such a great job of managing your ADHD and school — I bet you’re really proud of yourself (note — proud of yourself, not you being proud of him)
2. Get his Permission for Guidance: I know you’re not working with the coach, anymore, and I’ve noticed something that I think you might want to be aware of. I know you want to be as successful as possible. Are you interested in hearing about what I’m observing?
a. If no — “okay, if you ever feel like you’re interested in some objective feedback, let me know. You know I love you and I just want to help you continue to be your best self. You’re doing such a great job!”
b. If yes — “great, well, I’ve noticed that sometimes XYZ — and when that happens, you get so excited about what you’re talking about that you may not be noticing that people are tuning out” or “you may not notice that it’s hard for others to participate in the conversation.”
3. Make a CONSTRUCTIVE suggestion: What do you want to see different? There’s always a “dream behind the complaint,” so make sure he hears the dream so he knows what he’s trying to achieve ;).
This is what we call taking a “coach-approach” to managing ADHD :). Diane and I want to make sure we’re meeting your needs in this new forum, so please let me know if you think it’s helpful — and you have my permission to make a Construction Suggestion! 🙂REPORT ABUSE