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Dr. Ned Hallowell gave the closing Keynote speech at the 2013 ADDA conference, and part of it ties in with this “nature-nurture” question.
He said that, to thrive, all people (but especially ADDers) need three things:
Safety to know that we can reach out and explore our world and ourselves, and that it’s okay to be vulnerable and to fail, because someone will always love & protect us, unconditionally.
Connection with another person, to give us that safety, and to encourage us to explore, and to try, and to feel, and to be our authentic selves. And to make us stop and see and celebrate our successes, because ADDers are more familiar with, “Thank god that’s over!” than with, “Hey! I did something really great!”
A Project – a clear goal to focus on and work towards, with each little step being a mini-goal to be reached & celebrated for taking us that much closer to our goal.
When we take that Safety and Connection, and apply them to a Project, it’s amazing how energizing it is. And how incredibly strong our ADHD strengths really are!
In her book on HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), Elaine Aron wrote about the huge impact that the nurturing of a sense of “safety to explore” has on our development, from the moment we’re born. Being protected too much and taught to fear the world, is just as harmful as not being nurtured & loved enough. It’s quite fascinating.
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