Reply To: Prioritize, Verbalize, and Get it done, but Failing.

[Evelyn]

@allan wallace

I know that’s how I felt when I first came to this site. That was in January. I knew about it a year or so before I participated in any of the forums. I was in such need to talk to people of my own ilk that I took the chance. Best thing I ever did!!!

I got more help, in just those first two months, than in all the therapy I’ve ever had. That’s a lot by the way.

Yes we usually do but at some point,  and I hate to say it, but we stall or are oblivious just a little too long, and things are a little harder to fix. I can only hope “Grace” stays on my side.

One of these days I’ll be able to pay it forward. I try in little ways now with my world falling around my ankles.

Hey that reminds me of a poem I wrote a really long time ago but its a bit dark, called “In the End”

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“In the End”

You tremble in the seat of despair.

Standing.

With your crumbled world around your feet.
like a pare of disintegrating shackles.

Frozen.

By the passage of time.
Unknowing that your bondage is gone.
You lift your palms to heaven.

Then simply,

Quietly,

Mixed with your last mortal breath,
you ask…

Why?

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Wow, been a long time since I thought about that poem. I wrote it back in the late 80’s or early 90’s. I could look it up. This poem also marks a change in the quality of my poetry, one of my attempts at non-rhyming pro’s. But it still tells a story.

I didn’t realize how well it resembled ADD stuck-ness, though until I just posted it. At least my stuck-ness. And my greatest fear, that I will be buried by my own inability to see a way out of the messes I get myself into, when all I really had to do was take a step in any direction because the shackles were all dust and rust.

Ok that’s deep enough for one morning. I hope you all know my writing is not the liner post you see displayed on the page, I bounce around adding and taking away from each train of thought ’til I get tired of writing. You guys like that too?

I always worry about using character attributes in this forum it has a way of running off with ideas of it’s own once we open the kitchen sink.

Maybe it’s fitting.

Sorry the poem is also a bit of a downer, and I don’t even remember the inspiration for it but it might have been my divorce, because it was right around the time I stopped feeling angry at my ex, and started missing him.

Evelyn

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