Reply To: Self esteem

[sdwa]

@paisia – I don’t know if it’s forever for you. I worry it might be for me.

@blackdog – thanks, that’s nice of you to say – although there is nothing I can do. I feel there are few places where who I am is OK, – they’re hard to find, and don’t last. We’re not islands; we have to live in some context.

@larynxa – your comment reminded me of a day I got on the bus and a woman looked at me and announced, “There’s something wrong with that bitch.” Story of my life. Always somebody around to point out what’s wrong. I’m a magnet for people like that. Like the day this Princess Diana look-alike insurance agent type of person walked up to me in the park – never saw her before in my life – walks up to me out of the blue and says, “Does your husband deal drugs?” in this catty, insinuating way – she’s accusing me of being on something. Or when my boss didn’t believe that I’ve written a book. Like yes, I do actually know things and have skills. So typical. I have to listen to stuff like all the time. Death by a thousand paper cuts.

@miguelangel – yes I think that is true, we can’t evaluate ourselves on the same scale as others. I’m the same way – when other people are overwhelmed by a tense situation, I calm down. If for no other reason, being treated badly makes a person more compassionate. People with ADHD seem to have more empathy than others, not less.

 

I feel “different.” I am different. Other people make the differences wrong. Probably I said this before somewhere, but no one looks at a tree and asks if it is a good tree. it would be easier to maintain that elusive “self-esteem” quality we are all constantly being nagged to have – IF it were possible to hold down a job and survive in a hostile, unwelcoming environment – IF I had places to go where what I bring to the table is something others actually want.

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