Reply To: Self esteem

[blackdog]

@sdwa – I know what you mean. It is much easier for me to say those things about someone else than about myself, believe me. I was actually shocked at how hard it was when my therapist asked me what my good qualities are. I choked completely. I just couldn’t say it out loud, like somehow it was wrong.

I know snappy come backs are not easy for most of us to come by, but in the situations you mention, I can think of a few. The one who asked if your husband deals drugs, I would say something like “why, are you looking for a new dealer?” The one on the bus…I can’t even believe someone was that rude….something like “do you always talk to yourself like that?” might be appropriate.

Not that I would have thought of either of those if it happened to me.

I can sort of relate to your boss not believing you wrote a book. Sort of, because I have never accomplished anything that impressive. But when I was in high school I was accused of plagiarism by one of my teachers. I was puzzled when he handed my essay back to me and I had a failing grade. So I went to him and asked why. He told me that I “obviously copied it from a book”. When I told him I didn’t he said “Oh, really?”, grabbed it out of my hand and read the first paragraph out loud. Then he looked at me and said “Are you really going to stand there and tell me that you wrote that?’

As a matter of fact, I did write it, and did a damn good job too. I told him I could get the books that I used for reference to prove it and asked if he would change my mark if I did. He said no. So I just let it go.

I really should have gone to the principal and complained. I didn’t really know that I could do something like that at the time and just swallowed my pride and took what satisfaction I could from the knowledge that he was wrong. And that my writing was so good that it looked like it came from a book.

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