Reply To: What do you all think about Mark Patey?

[blackdog]

I didn’t really address the issue of the self help industry in my previous comment. I feel the same way about most of it. I am always very skeptical, looking for the angle. Ask yourself what’s in it for them?  I always say “follow the money”.  Usually that will tell you.

I kind of felt that way about the guy I just went to for my assessment. I know he is recognized as an expert on the subject of ADHD and he certainly diagnosed me acurately. But he makes an awful lot of money for very little work and it’s not necessary for him to charge that much. But at least he is upfront about it. He gives a complete breakdown of what you are paying for and even has a disclaimer on one of the forms  stating that there is no difinitive test for ADHD.

I believe that honesty should be mandatory in every business. Products should be marketed as exactly what they are and do exactly what the advertizement says they will do. But that is a little harder to do with self help/motivational services because it is all very subjective. And unfortunately there will always be people who will take advantage of the less forutnate.

I have to admit to feeling the same way about TADD when first seeing products for sale and a big orange “donate” button. My first raction was “oh, I see, yeah, they’re not really trying to help people. they just want to make money.” Or something like that. It’s my natural cynical reaction to everything. Donate to what? What’s the money for? I don’t know these people, why should I give them my money? (BTW, I just ordered a bunch of stuff from the TADD store 😉

I have too many distractions right now and this is taking forever to type. And I’m not even sure what I originally wanted to say anymore. So I should probably stop.

One thing is that I have to disagree about the meditation and mindfulness stuff (respectfully, of course). It really does work. But it all depends on how you do it and there is a lot of bad info out there. Like the ridiculous notion that you have to make your mind go blank to meditate, or that it is going to lead you to enlightenment. I tried meditating when I was younger and gave up because I couldn’t sit still long enough and I couldn’t make my mind go blank or focus on the mantra I was supposed to be thinking about.

But a few years ago I read a book on Zen and discovered a whole new approach to meditation. Just sit and stare at the wall. That’s it. No mantras, no making your mind go blank. You don’t even have to sit perfectly still. If you need to scratch an itch or fidget that’s okay, just try not to do it too much.  And let your mind relax. Just think whatever you think. I can only manage to do it for about 10 minutes at a time but I find it very realaxing and refreshing. It can be a good way to work out problems that are bothering you or find inspiration for a project.

Mindfullness is not something I do well. My mind is never in the same room as my body. But when I can focus and “be mindful” I notice a big difference in my productivity level. And it lowers my anxiety too because I am not thinking about that conversation I had yesterday or the appointment I have tomorrow or how last Christmas was a disaster and it looks like this one will be too and when will I ever get it together?

A good example is today. I have been “trying” to get the living room cleaned up and decluttered for weeks with no success. At the same time I have been trying to do several other jobs around the house and get all my decorations ready and take care of other things to numerous to list. And of course, doing what I am doing right now. But today I got up with only one thing in mind- getting the living room cleaned. I forgot about everything else and just did it. And I got it (almost) done. And I feel really motivated to stay with it. So I am going to go and do that.

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