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26 and never knew

26 and never knew2010-12-03T08:39:00+00:00

The Forums Forums I Just Found Out! My Story 26 and never knew

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  • #88686

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 14413

    I just found out for sure yesterday that I have ADD.

    A friend had mentioned in passing 2 months ago that she thought I might and my first reaction was “that’s ridiculous!!”. Then she told me her reasons and my reaction to that was “You might be on to something but probably not and now it’s going to be in my head all day because you brought it up. Thanks!!” Sure enough, I just couldn’t stop thinking about it and the more I thought about it the more it made sense. Even things like the way I would be just in the car and see a license plate or bumper sticker or anything and just blurt out a reaction to it, causing my friend who’s driving to want to kill me because I’m distracting her while driving, or the way I would just completely tune out the universe when I sat down to read or play a game or watch a movie, these were things that made me wonder. So I did some research and thank God I found this site. I did Dr. J’s test and got something crazy like 9/9 and 8/9 and finally decided “Hey I need to take this seriously.”

    So I did some more looking and began to realize for the first time that all the frustration and struggle just to accomplish even the littlest positive change were not normal. I began to realize not everyone has to fight with with themselves so constantly to just make it through the day and be able to say “I was responsible today”.

    It has been 7 years since I left home and it has been a long 7 years. I have lost job after job, spent months on welfare and EI failed repeatedly to complete my high school until just finally writing my GED Oct ’09 and had no healthy relationships. I am now working at a job I swore I would never go back to 6 years ago.

    I have always believed in accountability. I hate excuses and hold only myself responsible for my actions so you can imagine what I thought about myself. For years I have called myself lazy, stupid, irresponsible, undependable and self destructive for foiling every plan and every chance I’d had for happiness and success. It was a mental battle just to believe I wasn’t utterly doomed; just to be able to get back up and try again, always expecting to see myself cut my own legs out from under me again.

    Now I know I have a chance. I know I don’t have to undermine myself at every turn. I know that yes I am responsible for my fate but it can be one I can be proud of. For the first time in a long time I have real hope for the future.

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    #96965

    wolfshades
    Member
    Post count: 211

    I’ll bet there are all kinds of fellow ADDers like me who are nodding our heads at everything you said. Especially the part about calling ourselves lazy….and not realizing that the struggles we face are actually kind of unique. I too didn’t get diagnosed until just a few months ago, after years of struggling and coping. Going crazy over school, and figuring that maybe I just wasn’t trying hard enough. I mean, everyone else seemed to be doing OK, and I knew I was smart, so what was the problem?

    It wasn’t until, like you, someone pointed out to me that I might have ADD and suggested I come to this site to learn more that I realized that the inability to stay on focus was NOT a problem for most other people. It’s like someone switched the lights on and all of a sudden you realize that not many people share this propensity for juggling about a million thoughts in your head, worried that you might lose a few of them if you don’t get them out on time. Ugh. I mean, the thoughts are generally pretty cool, but there are just so *many* of them, you know?

    Anyway – thanks very much for sharing your story! It’s encouraging to me to read others’ stories about their “pre-diagnosis” days. Helps put things in perspective.

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    #96966

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 14413

    I’m also 26, and I’ve been told by so many doctors that I have ADD. This should have been helpful to me, but I always dissmissed ADD as some kind of an over-diagnosed disorder that I didn’t have. It wasn’t until a car accident last week, followed by watching the PBS special and then finding this site, that I really began to understand my ADHD. On one hand, I feel liberated. On the other hand, I am kicking myself a bit. I’m so thankful for this site and the eye-opening perspective it has given me!

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    #96967

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 14413

    I too am 26 with ADD and I used to think ADD was just something little hyper kids had. But I scored a 9/9 on the ADD test on this site. So even me being hardcore ADD, I didn’t even know I had it till now! There’s gotta be more education on ADD awareness. Hmm, maybe I should make an ADD ribbon, like those pink ribbons for breast cancer or the yellow ribbon for Support our Troops. ADD would totally look good as a green ribbon.

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    #96968

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 14413

    At my age, you 26 year olds ARE the little hyper kids!

    Hahaha (I crack myself up).

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    #96969

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 14413

    Hi !

    26 also ! and just found out 2 weeks ago while doing an internship in psychiatry (i’m a med student).

    Many people had suggested me in the past, already in early childhood, but I was never able to hear it and never went to see a specialist.

    I remember the last time someone told me about it… It was at the end of a 45 min psychiatry course on ADHD

    A friend told me : you are probably one!

    Me : what are you talking about?

    Friend : ADHD

    Me : What is it?

    Friend : hmmm, what the professor was talking about : “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder”

    Me : no… I’m not a hyper

    And I had just been drawing, dreaming, and distracted by any single noise or movement in the audiance for the past 45 minutes… and did not even realize what ADHD was about.

    Now that I realize, it makes a lot of sense!

    Before : “you’re just lazy, stupid, irresponsible…” like rwdbull

    Now : “hmmm makes sense, I see the challenges”

    But hey! where do I start ^^ lol

    Thanks a lot for this website! It helps a lot!

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    #96970

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 14413

    I’m 38, and I was diagnosed about a month ago. I was watching the OPB program, “ADD and loving it” so that I could be more informed about my 10yr old boy who is ADHD. My wife sat with me and said ” That’s you” I did the test on this site and had the tests that they did on the show sent to me. Went to the psychiatrist and found out that I am ADD. I am trying Concerta 18mg. to see if it helps. If anyone has anything to share about the medication, i’d love to hear it. Thanks.

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    #96971

    Gryffindork
    Member
    Post count: 15

    I’m 56 and was diagnosed about one year ago. I had gone to see a therapist about depression. She asked during our first session if I had been tested for ADD. I looked at her like she had asked if anyone had noticed I have an extra nose. What?!?

    My emotional response has been supreme sadness that I didn’t find out at when I was 26. My life has been very hard, in many ways. I also feel extreme relief at FINALLY understanding what the problem is and always has been. Unfortunately, I’m unable to take stimulant medication for health reasons. I would love to try it. The antidepressant does a pretty good job, but it seems as though it could be better.

    It’s OK. I feel pretty good, and I give myself a lot of breaks. I’ve been misunderstood, shamed, beaten, scorned, humiliated, ridiculed and abandoned by teachers, family members & spouses. I’ve also been angry & frustrated and sometimes, really mean. I didn’t understand WHY I seemed to attract this frustration & abuse. Or why I was so angry. I thought I was broken in some way; simply a lousy person. Now I get it. Yes, it has taken an emotional toll. I’ve suffered with depression for much of my adult life. I’m easily overwhelmed & have difficulty connecting to others. I used to enjoy parties & groups of people when I was your age. Not anymore. I’d really rather be alone. I don’t feel sorry for myself. It’s just …cause & effect. My small circle of kind friends love & support me, despite my hermit-y ways.

    I’m still working on routines & ways of coping with day-to-day life. I seem to have figured out my work patterns. I keep my desk like the deck of an aircraft carrier, so that I can focus on one thing at a time. I get interrupted a lot, so I write down every single thing I need to do & refer to that list all day long. I minimize the use of post-it notes and I recycle scraps of paper. Everything on my computer has a folder. I leave nothing on the desk top.

    Home is a different matter, but I’m working on it. Little successes really help my outlook on life. When I remember to wash the dishes, make my lunch or take my pills I feel like I’m a normal person. I AM a normal person…I just have have a different sort of brain. There are excellent resources for organizing out there. Some people find FlyLady.net insipid, but I have found her to be most helpful when dealing with clutter & trying to establish routines.

    So, hang in there. You’re lucky to find out so young, because there’s lots of help available. It gets better. 😉

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    #96972

    Gryffindork
    Member
    Post count: 15

    PS – I’ve also learned that SLOWING DOWN is really, really helpful. Walking slower, reading more slowly, driving more slowly…taking lots of deep breaths. I’ve stopped stepping on the poor cat just by walking more slowly. My brain has time to notice she’s there!

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    #96973

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    Post count: 14413

    Hey rwdbull,

    I’m 30, and I have just found this site after being suggested from a relative I might want to look into ADD.

    The following just hit home like a ton of bricks:

    “”So I did some more looking and began to realize for the first time that all the frustration and struggle just to accomplish even the littlest positive change were not normal. I began to realize not everyone has to fight with with themselves so constantly to just make it through the day and be able to say “I was responsible today””

    Thank you for sharing this reality, I to feel like I am totally lazy, when in reality I know I am not. I have gone through more then the normal person would to get my business running, people admire it, people see it as a success, yet I dwell in not being able to accomplish the simplest thing, the simple action I keep forgetting. Feeling non motivated and having to fight to get going on a daily basis.

    I have scored 9/9 on the test, and all the ADD symptoms for children just summerize my childhood to a T. I will definitly consult.

    Thank you all for sharing.

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