35 and ADD?

Hey Devilsdon, Welcome to the forum.

I have been diagnosed this year with ADD at 30 and I also have a hard time remembering alot of stuff from my childhood. My mom used to argue with me about things that happened when i was young and couldnt believe i didnt remember. Now she understands why.

My wife is verry suportive, wich is a huge help and we communicate alot, she knows what to expect and what not to from me. I think it’s not just about me having ADD, but how it affects our relationship and how she deals with it as well.

Communication is key, and I wish you the best in dealing with adhd. Knowing is half the battle and can only guide you to better understandingof the issue and yourself.

Best of luck

Thanks for the replys! I am finding it hard to deal with two kids by myself on a Saturday. I can’t seem to get a thing done, and all the noise and chaos, mess ect makes me have headaches, neck and back pain, and just generaly makes me feel like shit. I think I have to structure my day so I know what is going to happen, any ideas? does anyone else get this or even heard of this? My wife just thought I was Lazy, but the only thing that helped was going to bed………..

Sure, did the kids thing….looooong time ago though. I used to kinda let mine do their thing as much as possible on weekends, holidays or Sat.. Maybe get involved a little, that way I could guide activities and play without the heavy parental hand. Funny….my partner used to come home and take one look at them (in the summer ) and say….WHAT THE HELL….the little buggers would be grimy from the day, dirty faces, dirty clothes, wild hair…but big smiles. Fun day…….certainly not life threatening or morally threatening!!

I found if I could play too…… screw the house work, it can be picked up at the end of the day. They had much more energy for fun than I did to try and mitigate. Hahahaha.

Toofat

I am useless at structuring a day. My timing is crap, and motivation is always an issue. I tend to be the sort that plays things by ear. I just make sure I have stuff on hand to do, and then it just happens as it happens. It shouldn’t really matter how you manage things, as long as you can get your priorities straight. If something HAS to be done, then don’t let it slide, but relax more on the other stuff so you can cope. And if you like to plan ahead, then don’t schedule too strictly, as some flexibility works better than none – it’s pointless cutting off an activity the kids are really enjoying just because your “plan” says it’s time to move on to the next item on the agenda.

I have always disliked going out with the kids, so have discovered many “stay at home” activities that my kids enjoy.

As for ideas of what to do – I like to have a few packet baking mixes on hand (cookies, brownies, cakes), as the kids often like to cook. Getting the SLR camera out is always a favourite, as it is more versatile than a pocket digital camera. Painting used to be paper and water colours when the kids were young, but is now canvas and acrylics. Old furniture etc is always fun to paint/decorate too. I used to let my kids have the treat of being able to paint each other with powder paints, or draw on each other (or me) with washable markers. They LOVED doing something a little bit “naughty”. Chalk on the paths/pavement/driveway is good, but you’ve gotta have coloured chalk or it’s not as much fun lol!!

Also….(very much dependent on the age of your kids)….romping under the sprinklers, sliding around on a tarp covered with water and detergent, water balloons, paper mache, gardening (my son loves the hedge clippers!), painting with water on the bricks and cement, blowing bubbles, making “gloop” out of any spare food stuff (flour, cornflour, milk, eggs, food colouring, etc) – or making playdough or slime using a recipe, decorating something with fabric paint, acrylic paint or permanent markers – if you use proper fabric markers or paint, then the result can make a good gift (tablecloth, t-shirt, placemat, table runner, dilly bag, baby bibs, smocks).

My best suggestion is to take note of when you are at your best, and when you are at your worst. Schedule a busy, fast, loud, and exhausting activity for when you have energy and feel awake. Or let them do such an activity by themselves, away from you (if they are old enough). Then the kids should be ready for a relaxing time when you have had enough….or you can use the promise of the fast, fun, loud activity if they allow you some quiet time first (if that’s the order you need).

And keep in mind that brain exercise can be just as exhausting as physical exercise, so if you can’t deal with noise and excitement, then find a game they can play that gets them thinking. We used to play the I Spy games by Scholastic (they come as books, but we used the pc games). It was a big time waster, and kept the kids quiet, but you need some method to stop one child finding all the items first and annoying the others!!

Good luck 😉

I think learning to live with add is a pain in the ass, but for me, it has helped me enjoy the more important moments of life. So what if the dishes aernt done by 5pm, or that you take 4 weeks to put up a frame, is a clean sink or decorated wall more important then taking the time to be with your family? I try to think of it as what will i remember most when i die, what is the legacy i want to leave behind, the education my kids got, the memories, the values, or being remembered for always having a trimmed lawn..lol.

Dont get worked up with the emotionally meaningless parts of life, you cannot evaluate yourself with the daily chores of life. If you cant be with the kids and get things done….so be it…do the one that is most important to you and live and let be for the rest. Living all worked up to try and fit in to what society makes us believe is important is non sense for me.

Bild, I, too, am finally diagnosed, through The LEARN Center at the University of Washington. I have the Combined Kind. Psychologist now wants me to go to a specialist, so I can be sure to get on meds that won’t work against meds I already take for other things. Did you have any luck getting your insurance to pay for ANYTHING? I had to pay out-of-pocket for the three hours with the psychologist. I’m hoping perhaps my insurance may help a little with the prescriber, now that I have a diagnosis? Any hope for that, anyone?