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51 and guess what…?

51 and guess what…?2012-04-12T18:49:02+00:00

The Forums Forums I Just Found Out! My Story 51 and guess what…?

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    …I’m adhd. On top of everything else. Just had the situation formally diagnosed.

    I’ve suspected I had it ever since I was in grade school-hey, I was a reader- but hearing it confirmed after all these years really floored me.

    I go between being excited and feeling apprehensive. Excited, because I’m eager to see how my life will be different; and maybe for the first time in my life I’ll be able to keep a job….and apprehensive, because I’ve made parts of this condition work for me really well over the years and there are times it’s just plain fun being like this.

    I remember the hyperactive kids in school who took Ritalin. The non-stop spazzes (who were also smart and lots of fun to be around when they weren’t setting things on fire and wrecking the place) who left one year came back the next as skinny zombies who ended up in the ‘Special Ed’ classes and eventually dropped out. Yes, this was the 60’s and 70’s and yes, they overmedicated, didn’t have the experience with the issue that exists now, etc etc yes fine. There’s still a real sinister ‘Brave New World’ vibe attached to this issue in my mind.

    I guess too that I’m afraid that what I’d always assumed were lifestyle choices will turn out to have been nothing but coping methods. The only things I want from this diagnosis is to gain the ability to remember appointments and hold a f****** job for longer than a year at a time…not to start voting Conservative, wearing sweater sets and going to Yankee Candle parties.


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    I am 47 and have suspected this ADD issue for some time now. The “H” part I only had as a kid. But never in school (I was very well behaved in school). Well behaved if only my activity level was taken into consideration. Otherwise , I usually just sat at my school desk oblivious to what was being taught. When test and quizes came around I was cluless as to the subject . Of course all the subjects were instructed in school but for me I only came in contact with it once I was forced ( by me) to study for the test at hand.

    I have had only one job all my life and have gotten by only because the owner of the company is my dad. I am a contracts negotiator ( I am a lawyer).

    It all makes sense to me now that I have been diagnosed with ADD. All my failures , my professional lagging behing. All my collegues hold great jobs. People a whole lot younger than me are doing wonders. Heck my own daughter is an attorney with both my same professional specialties ( we are both commercial attoeneys). well she is an attorney, I am just a lawyer by profession, not by occupation.

    Somehow I am relieved to know that I can attribute my ADD to all my shortcomings.

    I know I beat myself up a lot , but it is so frustating seeing everyone excel and I have stay behind. Hopefully , starting just two days ago with Ritalin ( previously I used Strattera and then Concerta which none helped) I will catch up or at the very least meet some of my expectations.

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