A new discovery for me and 2 of my 4 children.

[Anonymous]

Last week I caught the show ‘ADD & Loving It’. I wanted to watch this as I suspected that my son (18) & daughter (16) have ADD. Almost immediately I recognized myself in this show. It hit me like a ton of bricks, and the more I watched, the bricks kept falling…. I have yet to go to the doctor for the official diagnosis but this is my next step. I did the tests—-and had my son do them also. (By the way, he is very intelligent but lacks the motivation to do anything, which has always been this way. A constant struggle to get him to do anything—and about a month ago he dropped out of college.) Anyway, we both did the test. We scored very similar. I said to him, ” this is so common…EVERYONE thinks this way, EVERYONE would score like this”. When my 13 yr old came home I had her do the test. To my total amazement, she didn’t score anything like my son & I. Infact, it was night & day… Once my 16 y old daughter came home, I had her do the test also—She scored very similar to my son & I. Still not convinced I had my husband do the test—-he scored nothing like us.

As I said, I’ve not been officially diagnosed yet,but everything made so much sense to me. I really thought that everyone had a zillion thoughts racing at once….you mean that doesn’t happen! My teachers in grade school labeled me as “a dreamer, off in her own world etc”. These would be the comments on my report card. I also heard all the lines from my parents, ” try harder, sit at the front, concentrate….” I tried so hard, but it couldn’t happen. I felt very alone as a child, even though I had friends. There was still a big part of me I have never shared with anyone— How I felt I never measured up to my siblings or friends with the high scores. It is something that stuck with me my entire life and the lack of confidence has stayed with me. I felt the world of academia was not my world. That’s fine, I’m an artist at heart and paint. This is where I hyper-focus. Literally I could stay painting all day and have been known to sit at a canvas for 13 hrs. straight….forgetting to eat. Perhaps not forgetting so much as not wanting to leave what I am so focused on. Although I’ve produced some great art, I lack the confidence to sell it or market it and it’s difficult for me to ‘show’ it to anyone. A friend, several yrs ago had me take a few of my pieces to a very well known artist/instructor…. in his opinion one of my pieces he thought should sell for thousands… Ask me where it is……It is hanging here in the basement… Along with so many pieces.

Anyway, back on track…… since viewing the show, checking out the website etc. My husband of 23yrs. has a whole new understanding for “me” (and of the 4 kids, the 2 that show signs of ADD). It really is like a huge light went on for all of us. I’ve spoken with my siblings regarding the ADD. My sister thinks I’m ADD but my brother is a non-believer. He believes I need to focus. I asked him how he’s able to focus. He said he ‘filters’ things out. “Really”, I said, ” I cannot do that”. I have many starts and stops throughout the day—starting something only to get distracted by something else, doing that for a while until I’m distracted by something else. My husband has always teased me about the ‘shiny ball’ catching my attention. Now it makes so much sense. Everything about how my life has been makes so much sense….low self-esteem, attention problems, not being able to comprehend certain things, forgetting things because my head is so busy. I am also aware that I jump into conversations and I have to get my thought out because I will forget it in a second as other thoughts will be there. My brain seems to work in overdrive.

As I read this I see so many negative things… I must remember the positives also. It’s true. I’m calm as a cucumber in a crisis. (and friends have mentioned this to me many times as they are freaking out). I know I have great compassion for all living things. The kids who were teased in school always had a friend in me….always. I know I can figure things out very quickly–things that others may not be able to figure out. I work outside the box. Recently I was speaking with a friend about this new discovery. She told me I didn’t have to watch a show to figure out that I was ADD…she could’ve told me…again, astonished I said, REALLY!! She also said that the way I am is why they love me so much. (thank you). If there is a crisis, they come to me. If an animal is stray, or a hurt bird etc., they come to me. I’m known for this in my neighborhood. Animals love me. When my husband & I were dating, he use to call me Ellie-May (most of you are probably too young to know who that is. She is a character from the old show The Beverly Hillbilly’s, and always had a lot of “critters”. Anyway, I know I have a lot of positive traits, and now I think I have answers to my negatives. I do wonder what it is like to be focused….I have never been. I wonder what that is like. (and it also scares me a little.)

I am so thankful for the crew who put this site and show together. For the first time in 48 yrs., I have answers, and because of this information, I can seek help for my 2 children who live with a brain that works like mine.

Wow!! A new discovery—-

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[Anonymous]

The first step of discovery is education. Keep it going. Welcome.

Dr.J.

PS May not want to put the brakes on more children and put your effort into the ones you got. They will need all your energy but it will be fun during the ride.

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[walkwithfarmgirl]

I think I am your twin sister…all that you posted, I could have written. Especially not showing anyone my art.

Thought you should know–I think there’s lots of us out there.

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