Dr. Umesh Jain
is now exclusively responsible
for TotallyADD.com
and its content
Dr. Umesh Jain is now exclusively responsible for TotallyADD.com and its content

The Forums Forums Emotional Journey Is It Just Me? ADD and dating, idea for this site

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 18 total)
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  • Shadow Nexus
    Member
    #89015 |

    For a very long time, i’v had trouble with finding women I have anything in common. Usually, it’s their as interesting as watching paint dry. Also, I was on a free dating website. My matches were people I had nothing in common with or so little it wasn’t worth bothering. On here, setup a list of only single people with ADD. So, you can meet people with common experiences. Include all the basic info, like interests, wants kids/doesn’t want them(now or ever), a profile of who you are and who you want to meet, area your located, on meds or not. Many details would have to be worked out. … Some of us are tired of going out alone most of the time.

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    #99467 |

    As an ADHD person who has an ADHD housemate… I woudln’t recommend this :-p I’m looking forward to living with my NT partner because two people with exactly the same kinds of organisational and focus problems makes keeping house tricky!

    Orion
    Member
    #99468 |

    I agree. I am thankful for my NON ADD wife. She is my rock in the crazy rapids of my brain.

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    #99469 |

    My wife doesn’t have ADHD and i’m very thankful for that. She helps to keep me on track when i need it. She’ll show compassion and patience, but she’ll also give me the occasional kick in the butt when needed as well. ADHD may narrow the dating pool a little bit but it’s probably not a deal breaker when it comes to the right person.

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    #99470 |

    Been divorced 2x and now 48 and just recently diagnosed with ADHD and thanks to this website finally understanding (an intrical part of the hollistic approach) this Syndrome i would suggest making sure you are on top of your treatment regiment before any dating. I should be the poster boy as why not to date until so ………. being honest. That does not meen i cannot be social and still have a life! And if I do find someone you can bet I will let them know I have ADHD and have them visit this site as there is no shame in it. But again if you are not honest with your own short commings how can another. And yes if you have found the right man/woman he or she would also realize you as a person with ADHD have unique offerings as well………

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    #99471 |

    Also, Filmbuff: I’d suggest that maybe you need to find a new place to meet women? If you have a hobby you enjoy, join a club for it and try to meet some women there. Then you might have something in common and you might find them more interesting :-p There are bette ways to meet people than dating sites, and common interests or through friends is usually the best way.

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    #99472 |

    Nim……… Great suggestions !!!!!!

    billd
    Member
    #99473 |

    I agree with Nimthiriel

    If you are into cars, for example, hang out at races or car shows……… that’s a way to find someone with common interests.

    OTOH, I used to believe that the ideal wife would be this or that, until I met my current wife. I’ve found out there are things more important than my “ideal” list, and she is now my ideal. She puts up with me, cares about me, misses me when I’m gone, or she’s gone, etc. and she takes totally good care of me when sick or injured, no complaining. (even though I know her personality can’t stand being around sick or hurt people in general – she’s impatient.)

    How I found her was no less than Divine Intervention. I was divorced, farmed and really wanted to be married again. I was cleaning up, something I rarely do so that in itself is miracle 1. I got all these free papers, those advertisers dropped off the mail box, etc. that are pretty much all ads, classifieds, want ads, etc. I never even opened those, they went straight to the garbage. Not that night. I grabbed some, sat on the floor, opened one up to a place in the middle of the paper, and my eyes fell on an ad for a dating club (through the mail, before Internet). Not only did I rarely clean, I never opened those papers……..

    but this time I opened one, right to that ad. I joined (5 bucks) and got back a listing of females. The back side of the last page, very last listing at the bottom of the page was her. I wrote a letter, sent it to the club to be forwarded (no phone numbers or addresses were published)

    Never heard back for months. The I get this letter from her………. she was lonely, decided to re-up in the club and when looking for their info, she found my letter in a drawer. The rest is history. 22 years later.

    Shadow Nexus
    Member
    #99474 |

    I’v been through many different means of meeting women with same results. We have little or nothing in common. Been to clubs, night clubs, and singles clubs. Had a profile on a free website. Been there and done that already. I look forward to this site supporting ADD only dating. It will great to find someone with common good and bad experiences to share :)

    It will nice to be out on Friday or Saturday for real date. Also, I’v had female friends, just not enough in common or no chemistry. V-Day is coming up, but that’s for another forum. We understand each others emotional and life issues. We are stronger together than apart.

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    #99475 |

    “Been to clubs, night clubs, and singles clubs.”

    This is the problem. You’re not going to groups of people who share interests with you!

    Do you like reading? Then join a book club!

    Do you like tennis? Join a tennis club!

    Do you role-play? Join a campaign!

    Do you like to take photos? Take a photography class!

    Are you interested in languages? Do a language class!

    Do you like to dance? Join a dance class!

    These are all places to meet women which are not bars, pubs, or dating sites. And if you join a club that actually relates to one of your INTERESTS, you’ll find a woman who is interested in the same thing and lo! You’ll have something in common! Because having that thing in common is why you met in the first place!

    See how that works?

    billd
    Member
    #99476 |

    Gee, two ADD folks dating, and both have the same problem – losing things, forgetting things, and talking all the time.

    WOW, that will be fun!

    Honey, do you know where my keys are?

    No, darling, I can’t find mine either. Guess we stay home.

    ;-)

    (although honestly, I’m beginning to wonder about my wife…………..)

    nellie
    Member
    #99477 |

    Ha Ha billd..

    Did anyone pay the phone bill? The cable? Ummmm..where’s the baby..thought she was with you?

    agnoscet
    Member
    #99478 |

    Hon, I can’t find my cell phone, can you give me a ring? No darlin, I haven’t seen your phone either. When did you last… wait, what?

    Shadow Nexus
    Member
    #99479 |

    I can’t wait! It will be a lot of fun having a female with similar experiences. I have a genius IQ, common among ADD I’m sure. ;)

    It will great to have someone who can keep up with me.

    If you have read the books from PBS specials, we have different problems from each other. Not all of us is a chatterbox. I’m very quiet, but I do loose things a lot. Details do get done, just takes learning your method of remembering them. I get all my bills paid on time.

    >These are all places to meet women which are not bars, pubs, or dating sites. And if you join a club that actually relates to one of your INTERESTS, you’ll find a woman who is interested in the same thing and lo! You’ll have something in common! Because having that thing in common is why you met in the first place!

    See how that works?

    Makes sense. Lets see. I’m childfree forever and no interest in marriage forever(http://www.unmarried.org/). I’m 100% sure since 5 years old(funny story about that). I’m neo-pagan(commonly known as “new age”). I’m a huge sci-fi fan. Motto: question authority. Politics: a stern progressive. Good luck finding all that in one person. Then there’s the physical, but you get the idea. They mIss any one of these and it’s a HUGE turn off.

    I stand corrected. I have not tried finding a group with similar spiritual beliefs(neo-pagans or pagans). Neo-pagans and pagans have a diverse range of beliefs. I found a somewhat local group. Trying to find a contact.

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    #99480 |

    >Makes sense. Lets see. I’m childfree forever and no interest in marriage forever(http://www.unmarried.org/). I’m 100% sure since 5 years old(funny story about that). I’m neo-pagan(commonly known as “new age”). I’m a huge sci-fi fan. Motto: question authority. Politics: a stern progressive. Good luck finding all that in one person. Then there’s the physical, but you get the idea. They mIss any one of these and it’s a HUGE turn off.<

    The only interest you mentioned was sci-fi. The others are important to come to an agreement on, but being a sci-fi fan is the only thing there (aside from the spiritual aspect, though even that doesn’t need to match up with you for the relationship to work or be interesting) for which you might find a club and which can be classified as a “common interest” :-p

    I think you’re too picky. Things like political and spiritual beliefs don’t have to match for the relationship to work. More important is knowing how to discuss them in an intelligent and mature way. Having someone whose beliefs don’t match yours exactly can help you grow as a person by challenging your views and forcing you to think about them in different ways. Having a genius IQ doesn’t make you perfect; it is a measure for potential, not of how well you’re using it :-p

    The other thing is that going to an ADHD site hoping to find someone with something in common with you is a lot like going to a diabetes site hoping to find someone with something in common with you. It is possible that you’ll find someone you’re compatible with, but a diagnosed disorder not really a good basis for a relationship… :-p

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 18 total)
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