- This topic has 5 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 9 years ago by Anonymous.
This is my first post on here and I wasn’t really sure what to say or where to say it, so here I go.
All my life I have felt off. I am internally emotionally up and down, never able to concentrate, or follow through with things like school, learning to cook or finishing a book. This wasn’t really a problem until after high school when I started college. I went to College because that’s what all of my friends were doing. I figured I should give it a shot, despite my rocky history with school. I thought I might grow and become the student I never was.
So I went and was optimistic about the whole endeavor. I was doing ok my first semester, I had great professors and I seemed to be taking care of business good enough, all while heavily drinking and smoking weed.
Second semester began and realized that this was not what I wanted to do, I wasn’t happy with who I was hanging out with or where I was. During the second to last day of finals I was in my dorm room thinking about how I knew this was it, I was not going to come back next year, I would just learn a trade or something, get real world experience.
So I tell my parents and they are supportive of my decision. I feel surprisingly relieved, like a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders. So I start applying for jobs and all of a sudden, wham the recession hits. I kept at it though, and applied to every job I could, be it completely above my skill level or a dead end job. Nothing happened just a few hours a week at my old job at a grocery store.
Completely frustrated and unable to get anything going for myself I threw in the towel and decided I would go back to school, this time community college. This was a horrible decision. I was attending school with kids who didn’t want to be there even more so than me. I was going through a depression due to family issues and smoking large amounts of weed. I ended up dropping a class and failing another. This time I was never going to go to school ever again.
So I get a job working in a upscale farm stand, and do well, all the while hating it enough to you guessed it go back to school as a way out. So after history repeats itself again I decided to seek help. I was diagnosed with ADD. So far I have quit drinking and smoking and am trying my prescribed medicine. Stimulants just made me beyond jittery and anxious, I felt like I was going to have a heart attack if I got up too fast. Now, I am on Wellbutrin, and it is unclear whether it is working or not.
I am unsure if there is a medicine or something out there that can help, I need to progress in my life. It seems like it is never going to happen. Sorry for the long winded post, but it feels good to just throw it out there.AnonymousInactive
Hi non-stop, I’m on Strattera and Wellbutrin. Strattera is a non-stimulant. I’m finding quite a difference at 60 mg. There’s a lot of people that have unacceptable side effects though.
I’ve gone back to school too although I’m a lot older than you – it’s hard work! My biggest challenge is sticking to deadlines, but I am able to pay attention far longer than on other meds.ashockley55Participant
If the meds are causing side effects, don’t forget about coaching! I’m not saying that you should give up on meds, but while you are working on finding the right thing, you don’t have to just sit around and wait. A good coach could be of great benefit to you on or off medication. Use the resources here or elsewhere online to find an ADD coach. I hear that many times they will work with you and your financial situation; from what you described it may not be that great (mine isn’t!).
Medication is a great help, but I’ve read time and time again that it is not the only help. There’s coaching, meditation, exercise – lots of other tools, so don’t despair. Keep searching for the medication that will help you…..ehhh, aside from marijuana!AnonymousInactive
Hey Bellamom thats great to hear that your back at school, I wish you the best of luck. I have tried strattera and wellbutrin, but to no avail.
Yesterday I got a second opinion form a different doctor and I was very happy with the appointment. This new doctor believes that my anxiety is more of a problem right now than the ADD. We are going to be treating the anxiety first and then we are going to address the ADD. i feel like this might be a step in the right direction. Everyone tells me how calm of a person I am, but I have a great game face and I am going through hell internally with the anxiety.
So far I have just begun Sertraline once a day and Clonozapam twice a day. Has anyone on here also dealt with anxiety issues before.
Thanks for the comments guys I really do appreciate it.ipsofactoMember
Just a quick reply, but I would echo ashockley55’s advise. I am controlling the anxiety increase brought on by the meds with relaxation response exercises and meditation. These are definitely not spiritual mumbo jumbo, but physical/mental exercises that will make a huge difference. BTW everyone thinks I am calm and collected, but I only let other people see the outside (and that’s another important discussion with ADD and coping skills).AnonymousInactive
I have had an almost identical experience these last 5 years. I graduated with the second highest SAT score in my class, was the first person in my school’s history to pass the AP english test and I did it as a sophomore. I thought college would be a shoe-in. My ADHD symptoms made college much more difficult than high school. It’s so difficult to hold attention in things that you don’t particularly hold interest in. Calculus for example, was hard for me. After making a D, retaking the already boring-to-tears class was simply IMPOSSIBLE. I dropped completely out of school over the fact that I couldn’t bare another minute of that class. Chemistry is the same way. Now I have had to move in with my uncle and have not been able to get my life together in the almost two years I have been living here. My parents continue to deny me access to a psychiatrist unless I pay for it myself (and I’m pennyless). Hang in there and don’t forget you’re definitely not the only person to have this kind of pressure put on you from both sides. I have all but lost my mind in the conflict between myself and the current workplace. It’s a bughouse…..
I had a job working for a newspaper back in my college town, but I was fired when they found out I had a bunch of speeding tickets that were unpaid…. I told them I’d borrow the money if I had to just please don’t fire me. I asked for just another two weeks time to get it all taken care of. Nope…. Fired me the same week he invited me into his office and commended me for an hour after work hours were over saying things like “you’re great, I’ve been needing someone like you here. I’d like you to stay another two years and help train replacements”. I was driving my 50 minute drive to work at 8 in the morning and was pulled over by a highway patrol for apparently driving with no stickers. It was a rental, and rentals don’t have stickers here. She said I’d be warned, ran my record…. Came back and asked me to step out of the vehicle and arrested me for having a failure to appear in the county. My Boss at the newspaper finds out by calling the sheriff’s dept [who apparently badmouthed me for being a smartass to them] ::cries:: Favorite job ever :'( I was a sports journalist during basketball playoffs… had worked there 4 weeks and made like $1200)… yeah bossman… he says “We don’t have any place for ‘your kind’ here. I talked to the sheriff and he said your best bet is to get your ass out of this town.” Well, I shook his hand and went home…. another 50 minutes…. A week later, my record was %100 cleared after about $7000 dropped on various tickets that through the years of being utterly depressed and running away from home and my problems… It’s a big fat catch 22….. There needs to be a way for people to get a leg up on this situation
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