ADD, clutter and "hoarding" stuff

[BuxomDiva]

well SighKoh your cat DOES own you! haven’t you heard; dogs have owners, cats have support staff.

I can SO relate to this issue. Over the years I’ve been saved from my own hoarding a couple of times by having a flood ruin a bunch of stuff, or having stuff somehow get left behind moving from Point A to Point B.

I have a dear friend (a fellow patient of Dr. J) who insists that he is not a hoarder, he is a collector. I tried to tell him that ten years worth of a computer magazine still in the plastic it was mailed in is NOT a collection! Stamps, coins, baseball cards, records, maybe but NOT a magazine nobody else would ever buy from him!

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

Hoarding = no extrinsic value, Collector = extrinsic value

Who decides value? Well, stick it on e-Bay and see if anyone wants to buy it or see if anyone is selling a similar item. If not, you might be a hoarder.

Of course, if something smells ungodly, it might be a collection (like putrid heads of animals), you might want to reconsider it.

Hoarding has to do with deep unresolved issues of attachment. It can be a serious problem.

REPORT ABUSE

[BuxomDiva]

Somebody told me recently that having “too many” pets is an indicator of childhood sexual trauma. Is that something you would agree with Dr. J.?

REPORT ABUSE

[billd]

>>1. Do I use it?

2. Do I have a place for it?

3. Do I love it?<<

But I might need it someday!!

I’m still to this day using “stuff” I’ve saved over the years. I am finally, however, parting with some things……. I just hate to waste things that might be useful. Old newspapers, magazines, etc. – naw, they go. They won’t find me dead under piles of “rubbish” anyway.

One problem I have, though – is that I can’t get rid of anything that either has a cat or kitten on it, or is shaped like a cat. (well, I DO toss old cat food cans, cat litter sacks, etc.) but if it’s a card, candle, notepad, whatever, unless it’s actually “trash” like a used up container, I have trouble parting with it. (so yes, I have a number of Beanie Baby cats)

I DO collect things – antiques- antique spark plugs, antique engines, antique tools. (I can’t settle on one or two)

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

I get someone to help me clean. I’ve figured out that my difficulties with it are:

1) having to leave the room to throw rubbish out (even if I have a bin in there, I’ll have to do this eventually, usually before I’m done) which distracts me and interrupts the mental “zone” I was in

2) having a place for previously unsorted stuff, particularly if I still can’t pick a category for it

3) Getting overwhelmed by how much there is to do.

Often, I’ll try to throw out one thing while sorting another while trying to put something else in an unsorted pile and get overwhelmed. To deal with this, I get my fiance to help. He can’t really sort my stuff for me, but If I need to have something moved to a particular location I can ask him to do it, so I don’t get distracted by leaving the room or something like that. He’s also there to help with putting things in categories and that sort of thing.

It means I don’t reak out totally and it means that the place actually gets cleaned

REPORT ABUSE

[billd]

LOL – 2 and 3 I can relate to.

My DIL has gotten me to commit to 10 minutes every Sunday to sort papers and file.

She also setup a table here with labels for me to sort things into piles. One step at a time – grab a handful, sort it. Do that every day at a set time.

So far, it’s “sort of” working.

REPORT ABUSE

[BuxomDiva]

@Billd – what’s a DiL? Sounds like a good plan!

@Nimthiriel – I can so relate! wish I had a helper like that – my kids are not terribly supportive that way.

REPORT ABUSE

[Monika]

@Nimthiriel

I can tell you that a timer really works wonders if you 1)have trouble self-starting 2) feel overwhelmed. There are a few TotallyADD fans (like myself) who recommend http://www.FlyLady.net too.

She also suggests when you are going into a room to have 1)a garbage bag 2) a giveaway box 3)a put away basket, (doesn’t have to be the exact nouns-they can all be bags you just might not want to get them confused-imagining apple cores mixed with dirty socks) .

Then as you work the room, you stay in the room without wandering.

She has members on her facebook page playing decluttering games by picking six things on their to-do list and calling out numbers randomly to get them done and a new motto for 2011, “Just do seven, in 2011” which immediately calms down the overwhelmed, where to start, panic that is typical when I think about housework.

It sounds like your methods are working, I just wanted to share. Also your Fiance is a wonderful guy, congratulations!

Best wishes, Monika

REPORT ABUSE

[Author]

Posts