ADD doesn't have to suck all the time

[robynshnobyn]

It seems the more I research ADD, the more I like it.

Strange.

Everyone treats it like this great handicap.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, it can be quite debilitating at times.. but not all the time! I’ve discovered a lot of the reasons I have to like myself are actually an effect of ADD. Creativity, intuition, sensitivity, compassion. I don’t take things too seriously most of the time, other times I’m so overwhelmed with emotion, a part of me doesn’t really mind. Emotion is the biggest gift humanity does not deserve.

It seems we’re on a whole different wavelength, which can be really cool if you find other people to connect with. It’s like speaking a rare language. No one gets me anyway, might as well be myself.

Not to mention, we’re ridiculously energetic, yet all extremely sleep deprived at the same time. It’s like having some mutant super power.

ADD can have a bright side.

Just so you know.

 

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[e123tu]

I agree. For me it took several workplace disasters before I sought therapy seriously, which was the first piece of the puzzle. More recently I also saw an ADD coach when we realized I had that too. Just today, I realized I’ve been happy for nearly two years of doing my own thing at my own pace.

As a documentary maker, I like to think of my mental hard wiring as making me a hunter-gatherer who is aware of all of the glittery things out in the woods and can bring them home to make sense of them.

I also am grateful for my energy sensitivity, as it really helps me get the most interesting stuff from the most interesting people. It used to cripple me that I had no boundaries to other people’s moods. Now I realize I also need it to do my work.

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[blackdog]

I have only just recently realized how debilitating my ADHD has been all my life.

But at the same time, I am realizing how much of a benefit it is. It’s like for years I have not been fully aware, I have not believed I had the potential, or that I would ever be able to do anything with my potential. Now I am finally waking up and using my brain the way it was meant to be used. By trying more to be myself instead of trying to always follow the rules and fit in, I have tapped into that potential everyone told me I had when I was a child again. Suddenly I feel brighter, quicker, more capable. I can look at a problem and immediately start thinking of the solution.

Now if only I could implement those solutions. Unfortunately, I don’t seem to have the endless energy that everyone always talks about.

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[seabassd]

I don’t know if I’ve reached the point that I see it as a gift just yet. I’m open to it though. I have however become more accepting of the way I function and I’ve noticed that feelings of guilt and shame are falling away a bit at a time. This has allowed me to make adjustments to my lifestyle without SHOULDING myself to death with comparisons to others.

Definitely agree that we shouldn’t just focus on our deficits. I don’t know about you all, but I’ve recently realized that I use the negative self talk as a way to stimulate me into action. It might get me off my keister, but as I’m discovering there are much better ways to get motivated that don’t require emotional burnout…i.e. meditation.

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[shutterbug55]

For me ADD is a curse. If it were a gift, I could return it.

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[makwa]

I definitely use my ADHD as a super power, to charge my life! If can get it to pay my bills on time I’d be really impressed though. lol

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[Patte Rosebank]

Funny thing about that word “gift”…

Just as ADHD traits can be amazing in some situations, and bloody horrible in others, the word “gift” can also have two very different meanings, depending on the situation.

In English, a “gift” is something that brings you joy and makes life better.

But in German, “gift” means “poison”, a destroyer of life.

So, I think ADHD really is a “gift”.

But whether I mean it in English or German depends entirely on the situation.

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[seabassd]

Zombie Apocalypse = ADHD Gift

Paying Bills = ADHD Curse

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[e123tu]

I like to think about the metaphor of each person having his or her own special cross to bear.

By learning about my ADD brain’s limitations and special attributes, I feel like I have a little bit of a head start in discovering my true self, even if it’s happening in my second half-century of life. It makes it easier for me to stop apologizing for doing things in ways other people don’t understand.

I learned about the metaphor of the special cross to bear about 20 years ago. There was a homeless women who lived on the sidewalks of our central business district.  She was known widely as “The Duck Lady” because she often quacked at passersby.

One day, I learned at an event that she had died. The city’s leading homeless advocate, a nun, said something about her that I’ll never forget (at least in spirit, if not word for word):

“She had Tourette’s syndrome. We all have our special crosses to bear, but at least she knew what hers was. And she bore hers with particular grace and dignity.”

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[redarno]

It seems that the way you see it depends on wether you have control over it or it controls you.

It demands a lot of work to get to the right mindset.
It still sucks most of the time to me 🙂
for now i guess

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[e123tu]

We are going to the beach now, but I had a thought I didn’t want to forget.

I was treated first for general anxiety and depression, due to the mistreatment I endured at my job (and others did, too). Then getting help for ADD was just the extra missing piece for me.

Being anxious or depressed certainly doesn’t help anyone’s “progress.” I got SO much out of cognitive behavioral therapy, and actually mostly enjoyed it. My therapist was just right for me, focusing mainly on the present and not on the past unless I brought it up.

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[blackdog]

It’s funny, I found CBT to be a complete waste of time. But maybe that’s because I am just too stubborn and bullheaded. Or maybe just because I didn’t have the right kind. I was reading an article in ADDitude a few days ago that addressed the fact that people with ADHD are not motivated the same way Neurotypical people are and how that needs to be considered in their treatment. It suggests a type of CBT called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.

“If the importance of a task, and the rewards of completing it, don’t motivate an ADHDer to get things done, what can he use to move him to action? As it turns out, figuring out and embracing his deeply held values can help an ADHDer get things done and stay focused when other things have failed.

Michael Manos and his colleagues at the Cleveland Clinic have used Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) —a third-generation cognitive behavioral therapy developed by Stephen Hayes, Kelly Wilson, and Kirk Strosahi in the late ’80s for people with anxiety disorders — to help ADHDers get things done.

The subtitle of one of the ACT manuals is “How to Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life.” A big impairment reported by people with ADHD nervous systems is that they spend too much time in their heads because they are confused and hurt by the neurotypical world.

Hayes’s ACT manual works for ADHDers because it recognizes that the concept of importance – meeting a deadline or doing something that your boss considers important — is not a motivator for people with ADHD and anxiety. ACT solves the problem by helping ADHDers use their values — which give their lives meaning and purpose—to motivate them to be productive.

With ACT, patients are asked what matters most to them. What are the important things that give meaning to life? What aspect of their life has made a difference to themselves, to their family, and to their community or their profession? Some people value their family the most. For others, it might be setting a record or gaining fame. For other ADHDers, it may be faith in God. I ask my ADHD patients whether they are engaged in something meaningful that reflects their values. I ask them to ask themselves several times a day, “Am I doing something that matters to me?” This puts the person in touch with his values.

Generally, after several weeks of doing ACT, a patient has several ways to access his abilities when he needs them. He knows the paths to success.” –  Secrets of ADHD Treatment, William Dodson, MD

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[Scattybird]

That’s interesting. Berkley said in one of his videos that CBT is useless for ADHD if there is a bit of defiance in the mix but someone with the more inattentative form will be more likely to benefit. At least that was my understanding.

The article you mention blackdog sounds interesting. I sometimes wonder how I motivated myself through college and to a reasonably level of education despite the hours, the struggle and the long nights. In contrast I find it difficult to motivate myself now.

So the difference? Then, I had a great feeling that I didn’t want to let down those that helped me and had faith in me despite my failings. The teachers that went the extra mile and my mother who sacrificed an awful lot in difficult circumstances so that I could have an education. I was lucky in that I knew what I wanted to do, but I think the driver was that feeling of some loyalty and not wanting to fail them.

These people no longer exist in my life apart from as memories. I have absolutely no respect for my current work colleagues (apart from one or two, but they don’t have an interest in my career progression/success or otherwise). I feel defiant in the face of authority at work. Also, I am older now and don’t have the energy anymore to work long hours and late nights just to keep up.

So the last two posts made me think about motivation. The source of motivation has to be very deep if the end in itself is not sufficiently motivating. So this isn’t about me – but about the drivers in life and how to rekindle a driver when one disappears. I’ll have to look into it more….assuming I get around to it! 🙂

 

 

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[blackdog]

That is interesting. And it makes a lot of sense. I was at my last workplace for 6 years and started out great then steadily went downhill until I got to the point where I didn’t even care if I got there on time or got any work done while I was there. When I think back on it, when I first started, I really liked the owner/manager and wanted to please her. Everyone else hated her because she was a bit of a tyrant, and there were times when I couldn’t stand her either, but  I did what she wanted and she liked me and gave me lots of praise. And as much as I hated having to work for  someone so strict, there was structure and everyone followed the rules and did their jobs.

But then she sold the business and left. At first I still did okay because I was nervous about having a new boss and because there were exciting things going on, like moving to a new location and expanding operations. And I was still under the impression that I was being trained for management, as I had been told previously.

But then everything changed. Suddenly one of my subordinates was promoted to assistant manager, my hours were cut, I was given all the crappiest shifts all the time, scheduled for every weekend and holiday…. Basically, I went from management trainee to doormat. And on top of that, the new manager was slack and downright lazy and discipline started to slip. It eventually got to the point where everyone did pretty much what they want, if they even bothered to show up. And that’s when I lost my motivation. I kept trying to tell myself I had to do a good job because it was the right thing to do, because it shows that I have a good work ethic, because someday things will change etc. But it never got any better. And neither did I. Then the business changed hands again, right when I was at my lowest and severely depressed, couldn’t make it to work on time to save my life….. And then I got fired.

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[e123tu]

It is truly horrible to be in a job where the politics are more important than the work. I wonder if that situation is extra depressing for us ADD-ers. It was for me, at least.

Anyhow, my therapist helped me put the abusive treatment at my old office into perspective. She even coached me word-for-word on how to respond when my bosses bellowed crazy charges at me. (E.g., they said to me more than once: “At your level, you should know what our A.V.P. wants BEFORE you meet with her! If she twitches or changes her breathing, it’s YOUR responsibility to ask her if she’s uncomfortable with something.” This is not an exaggeration, truly.)

My CBT therapist helped me cope with all of the trauma. My ADD coach helped me to understand the way my specific brain works so that I don’t have to flog myself anymore.

It’s interesting that there’s a variety of CBT that helps people with ADD. I have no doubt that that modality can work. My therapist doesn’t have ADD expertise but I wouldn’t trade her in, ever. But I did group therapy for 6 weeks and did see some people resist therapy, and they became very frustrated that they weren’t getting anything out of it. I enjoyed talking about myself and so if they didn’t want to talk, then I used up the time for my concerns!! After all, I have plenty of thoughts going on in my mind.

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