The Forums Forums Emotional Journey Is It Just Me? ADHD and High Sex Drive – Is this just me?

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  • bubbel8989
    Participant

    Hi guys,
    I’m Bub and I’ve been officially diagnosed with ring-of-fire ADHD for 2 years now, however, I have been showing extremely strong signs of having it ever since I have been young. I wanted to ask this forum for help about a subject I am REALLY struggling with.

    A very high sex drive.
    I am in a long term monogamous relationship with someone I love dearly and who really takes me for what I am. For that, I am forever grateful. However, he has an extremely normal sex drive, and that is all fine and well but it has a tendency to kill me when he doesn’t want it every day. Most of the time I feel rejected, frustrated, angry and seriously low.

    Why is this happening? Can someone please explain the biological and psychological implication of having ADHD in regards to the matter? Is this just me?

    Can someone please recommend or suggest a way to deal with it? Supplements, ways to reduce libido, strategies ect.
    I would be forever grateful for any help as it’s the only flaw in our relationship.

    Thanks, Bub (:

    luffycat
    Participant

    I feel you. I have adhd- and my sex drive is extremely high. Its most likely due to hyper focus- as sex is something most people enjoy, its easy to focus on it – and really go to town with it haha. However, you can’t expect that same focus from your spouse… she/he does not have that same focus. It doesn’t mean they don’t want you , or love you – or crave you.

    But I understand why you might feel rejected- I feel the same way alot of the time. It always feels directed at you, and your worth huh? It can be the smallest thing, but it feels like the world at that moment. You get into the FINE! mode. But when you really think about it… give your spouse a break. They might be exhausted, sore, needs time to recharge. For ADHD people, its easy to recharge for the things you love to do – but extremeeeeeely difficult to recharge on stuff you can’t focus on. But they are kind to you and understand, so we ought to do the same, even if it seems hurtful at the time.

    bubbel8989
    Participant

    Hi Luffycat! I just want to say your post has made my entire week. I am shocked how closely we feel the same feelings with this issue. I actually showed my boyfriend your reply and nearly cried because your reply will truely help my behaviour towards my sex drive. I thank you immensely!! I hope you have the amazing day! (:
    From a very happy, relieved and thankful El

    driddles
    Participant

    Dr. Ari Tuckman just wrote a blog for TotallyADD about ADHD After Dark you can read it here https://totallyadd.com/blog/adhd-makes-both-romantic-partners-better-people-hopefully/

    There is a link to his new book at the bottom ‘ADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship’

    We’re hoping to have Dr. Tuckman on one of our live chats with our Patrons on Patreon in the next few months to talk about ADHD & Sex.

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