ADHD the fountain of youth!

[Anonymous]

I’m Mother of two, one’s almost a teen…but wait a sec…How did that happen? I’m not old enough to have a teenage son. What do you mean I’m 37? really like almost 40? I don’t feel almost 40, I still climb around McDonald’s playland with the kids…isn’t that how you play with your children? It’s not? well then how? What…?? you sit and read the paper? really? and just watch them play and have fun…..as a spectator? hmmm…. note to self…..drop kids off for birthday parties…do not stay…..I repeat DO NOT stay!!!

I always have these feeling, and this narrative or one very similar acompanies it….No! not out loud…..well not often that is. OMG! My life’s a joke I have no clue how to act maturely….correction I know how to act like “them” but I don’t want to, in fact I’ll stay home if they expect me to sit and listen. Maybe that’s why it’s taken over 18years to get my degree and I still need 4 courses…..4! not 10 …..4??? But they are like soap in my hand….got it…oh no wait a sec….oops….ah got it….ah man! I had it…oh No! this won’t do….the grout is discolored…..where’s the toothbrush…has to be cleaned now…! Now somehow my desire to clean the grout has become more important and taken priority over the homework or the classes etc.

I have found that with ADHD I have my own fountain of youth, that is the positive side of my adhd. The negative side is not knowing how to focus that drive…the determination to be constructive in our lives. The most benificial medication I tried turned out not to be covered and since then my feelings of helplessness come and go. Unfortunately there are no professionals within 400kms who know any more than the point form diagnosis criteria they have. They simply feel I need to “just do it already”. or “stop it already”. I often think how great it would be to be a stand up comic because it’s my outlet…..Always the funny girl…laugh it all off….long as I keep them laughing they don’t notice the nervousness in my laugh…or sense my yearning for acceptance.

As a single Mom I’m left reeling in it 24/7, there’s no neutral zone in my brain it’s always like the bottom of the 9th, 3 players on base, full count…..and I’m up at bat! I love playing the game but wish it was less intense all the time.

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[Anonymous]

Welcome Squirrel Are you Lianne’s sister? LOL

Squirrel is our favourite animal around here. Yes, it seems that ADHD does keep us all younger at heart. It is more fun, but it can be lonely too. NIce to meet you!

Cheers!

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[Anonymous]

Squirrel is the running joke with my friends…..they say I remind them of the dog on the movie Up! My ADHD moments they now call “squirrels”. I’m off to read about this sister you think I have….lol

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[wolfshades]

Medical professionals are telling you to just “stop it already”??? LOL!! Wow. That’s pretty insightful and helpful of them isn’t it?

It reminds me of a skit that Bob Newhart did on one of the old Saturday NIght episodes, where he played the same psychiatrist that he plays in his TV shows. Someone came up to him feeling bad about themselves and his universal response was to lean in, and then say very loudly “look. Just STOP”. I don’t know – it cracked me up.

You’ve painted an accurate picture here – especially for those who don’t know what ADHD feels like or wonders why their loved one seems so scattered all of the time. I love the playground in my mind but, yeah, it often means I don’t get a whole lot done. And sometimes it means I’ll arrive home with frozen groceries which I intended to put into the freezer, only to discover them all thawed out the next day, sitting in the same spot I left them the day before. That can get a little expensive. *laughing*

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[Patte Rosebank]

“Just stop it, already.”

That reminds me of a “Eunice” sketch, on the “Carol Burnett Show”. Eunice, at the end of her rope, has finally gone to see a questionable psychiatrist, who tells her that when her family is driving her crazy, she should just keep saying, “I’m OK. You’re OK.” (This was a feel-good mantra from the book of the same title, which was first published in 1969.) Despite Eunice’s examples of her family’s—especially her mother’s—repeated viciousness against her, the shrink keeps telling her to just say the mantra.

Suddenly, the door bursts open, and Mama storms in. She viciously puts Eunice down for pissing money away on “this quack”, and orders her to get moving. After dumping on Eunice some more, Mama storms out, and Eunice stands up to leave. At the door, she turns to the doctor, and forcing a smile but with tears in her eyes, says, “I’m OK. You’re OK.” She knows it won’t work, and so do we.

I’ve always thought that Eunice was the sort of person who should be kidnapped for her own good.

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[Anonymous]

LOL!

Sad but true….that’s the attitude my mom has…”I’m OK. Your OK!” The attitude is like nails on a chaulk board…unless you add ….”for now”… followed by an evil grin.

In fact it is due in part to this evil grin that I impulsively went today and bought (yes bought as in paid full price not plan price) meds. After great success with one before Christmas I found out that it was a non-benefit in our Province and tried some generic brands that were covered….OMG! I was crawling in my own skin….I felt aweful expecially after having such success with the first one (dramtic difference in my road rage/short fuse AND I completely GUTTED my basement….top to bottom…inside and out…I’m sure you know how great that feeling was).

btw…..Loved the Carol Brunette Show……oh the good ole days

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[Patte Rosebank]

I’ll have to look into that “brand-name vs. generic” effectiveness issue, once I start on Ritalin or whatever. I’m on the Trillium Drug Plan, which pays for all of my prescriptions, except for a quarterly deductible. I’m not sure of Trillium’s policy on covering brand-name drugs when a generic version is available.

But that’s a few weeks away. In the meantime, I’m having “fun” going through Effexor withdrawal syndrome.

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[Anonymous]

I was prescribed different things over the years for anxiety and depression etc., I was 25 the first time I was given a prescription……I remember having a life clip flash before my eyes……..1 year prior I had quit my job, moved home with “mommy and daddy” and weighted in at 260lbs @ 5’3″ and up to my eyeballs in debt from VLT’s and an addiction to gambling. Never gambled again…never gave myself the opportunity and became fanatical about loosing weight decided to go back to school) Jumped in full force at everything and crashed somewhere around finals that year. It was downhill from there…..drinking..and (Blank)…you know from the show the Red (blank) Show…..I was scared to take a pill…what if I became addicted to that too? The awareness of that addictive streak saved my life so many times when I look back now….I thank God for that. But I knew there was something “wrong” with me but what was it?

My 18 year old cousin and I were talking one day and he was telling me how much better he felt while taking Concerta, hearing him verablize the difference swayed me to try medication. I did and what a difference!!! however my body didn’t like the ritalin or the biphentin….rage rage rage on the inside I FELT it’s sustained release. All I have to say about it is if the right med made me feel that empowered it’s worth giving it a real chance.

Hope you aren’t feeling too badly with the withdrawl…today you may feel like the fire hydrant but Sister tomorrow ………you’ll be the DOG!

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[Patte Rosebank]

“the Red (blank) Show”

What’s Red Fisher got to do with it??? ;-P

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[veronica]

“As a single Mom I’m left reeling in it 24/7, there’s no neutral zone in my brain it’s always like the bottom of the 9th, 3 players on base, full count…..and I’m up at bat! I love playing the game but wish it was less intense all the time.”

dude, i’m not single and even i feel this way EVERYDAY!

welcome!

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[Anonymous]

RHAWSER!!! BAHAHAHAHAH…I was seriously thinking you were going to write that and scrolled down quickly to see if you posted something! hahaha

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[Anonymous]

And squirrel…wow. I feel exactly like you! MAYBE YOU ARE MY SISTER!!!! I feel that helplessness every day and have this incredible drive as well. However there is a fear that comes with that drive that I’m running out of time and then I don’t get anywhere because I’m trying frantically to figure out what my passion is and what I want to be, dipping my toes in this that and the other thing, never really mastering it completely because I think “CRAP!!! that’s going to take a long time to master! I’m 31…I can’t spend another 20 years trying to become the ruler of the world!!!! I need to be successful now!!!! I think we all just have to live in the moment and honestly just be grateful for where we are at this second. We are living in the future too much ..in this magnificent world we conjured up in our heads, so no wonder we are disappointed! It’s all an illusion at the moment! I am totally with you on the maturity thing as well…don’t change! What’s being mature anyway? As long as we can be mature where it matters…like not completely crawling on the tables during a meeting…or stealing people’s food from their grocery carts and throwing it behind us so we can take their place in line! I feel like I have to mold myself into what everyone thinks they are supposed to be like at a certain age and it’s not working! Embrace your zest for life and the energy you have. We need to stop justifying who we are and just love our quirks. It’s been a tough year for a lot of people…or years! Living in a state of limbo…trying to beat the clock…become something. I feel like I’m in the middle of a black hole with a haze around me….not seeing where to go. It’s a hard place to be, but we need to have faith that things will look up soon…our lives are what we make it. So we might as well stop trying to resist what’s being thrown our way. BAH!

Quotes my mom gave me the other day:

Let go of the past

“Your journey has molded you for your greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. Don’t think that you’ve lost time. There is no short-cutting to life. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is right on time.”

– Asha Tyson

“The next message you need is right where you are.”

– Ram Dass

Valuing the moment

“… the only time you ever have in which to learn anything or see anything or feel anything, or express any feeling or emotion, or respond to an event, or grow, or heal, is this moment, because this is the only moment any of us ever gets. You’re only here now; you’re only alive in this moment.”

— Jon Kabat-Zinn

“Very few of us know how much we can put into life if we use it properly, wisely, and economically. Let us economize our time — lifetimes ebb away before we wake up, and that is why we do not realize the value of the immortal time God has given us.”

— Paramahansa Yogananda

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