After a lifetime and two horrible years, we know

[Anonymous]

My 9 year old daughter was just recently diagnosed predominantly inattentive type ADHD and “self-stimulates” in class which was causing her not to focus on her school work. She’s now on Vyvanse and seems to be doing significantly better already.

After reading up on her ADHD, I started to suspect that I also had ADHD. I just saw the psychiatrist, that my therapist recommended, and he confirmed it. I’ll be starting Vyvanse myself on Tuesday when my prescription gets in. I’m a bit relieved and at the same time fighting the “I regret I didn’t know sooner” for both my daughter and myself. Thankfully she’s only 9 and we’re getting help. Thankfully I’m “only” 39 and finally starting to understand it all.

What was somewhat humorous and sad at the same time is when he asked me if I found myself fidgeting a lot, I said “Not really, though I do always have to have a pen or something in my hand when in meetings that can get boring.” After awhile of talking, he said, “You know, you’ve been fidgeting this whole time except for when I stop you.” That was incredibly enlightening.

I’m also happy that I’ve managed to accomplish so much in my life in spite of (or maybe even because of) the way my brain works. I’ve somehow “overcome” a lot of it, and yet, have regrets that I didn’t do more.

I would have never thought I’d ever see a therapist in my life or a psychiatrist, and now I’m totally sold on their value and their input. It’s been a relief to get some confirmation and I’ve been so very very tired all these years.

Anyway, I’ll keep it short, but this is my “hello” to everyone here. I’m now part of the group as is my daughter. Knowing has helped me understand why I’ve had to work so hard and what I need to be aware of from now and through the rest of my life and my daughter’s. This is a big plus in my book (knowing) and far better than having to wonder why I never felt I “fit” with everyone else around me. I recognize this is just the start, but at least I know what path I’m on now.

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[sdwa]

Hi DaniV. Glad you’re here. I found out when I was 45. It made sense in light of a lifetime of struggles. My son has it, too – he’s 12, was diagnosed at age 5. I still haven’t figured out how to handle my own problems, so I don’t feel I’m that much of a help to him, but I’m glad we know what we’re dealing with. Understanding the challenges has helped me realize I’m not alone, ADHD is real, and there are ways to manage it. Still working on the management part. I think it’s worth taking the time to learn as much as possible about it. It’s also good to listen to the stories of other people.

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[kc5jck]

I found out because of my son. He was tested and is now on Adderall doing much better. This was about a year and a half ago when he was twenty.

After learning about ADHD and its symptoms, I realized I had it. One reason I got tested is that I felt that if I got tested and diagnosed with it, it would make my son feel better about having it and perhaps feel not so alone. I have been fairly successful and my son must feel that if his dad has managed all these years then he has a good chance at success too.

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[Anonymous]

I felt the same way kc5jck. That it might help my daughter if I found out for sure if it was something that I had as well. Mostly, I think it will help my family out a lot. I know I can do so so much more at work and beyond, but the nagging “you don’t finish what you start” or “how will you be organized enough?” doubts creep in.

I even applied for a promotion I want and don’t want at the same time. I wanted my boss to know I thought I was worth the job. But I’m scared to death that so much responsibility will be on me and so much expectation when it’s always just so hard making a “to do” list each day and getting it done. I don’t want this opportunity to slip by. I even told the psychiatrist that after my first interview, I had moments of, “did I even really answer the question they asked me?”

I’ve always joked to my friends that they never wanted to see inside my brain. It’s like a TV constantly changing channels or even a radio station with sometimes overlapping conversations.

When I go to the grocery store, I try to have a list, but usually I end up talking myself through all the things I need to get. It generally takes about an hour or more to shop even when my list had been short at the start.

In the end though, I can understand why I never put 2 and 2 together. My mom and her mom and a lot of my family members function the same way. (Which I just learned my cousins and their children are ADHD too.)

I do dislike the word “disability” though. I’m struggling a little bit with that idea. Things have always been hard, but I think my intelligence (I hope) and being able to grasp things quickly enough or “chameleon” around people to fit in has always protected me and made things work out somehow. It just isn’t as satisfying as I’d like though and I absolutely know that I can do so much more and I want to make sure my daughter knows she can too. I have always thought I could do better, but those little details that slip through bother the living daylights out of me.

I’ve “overshared” again, but thank you all for responding. It’s appreciated and good to know that there are so many others in the same boat. Now we just need to pick a direction to row it. Cancun anyone?

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[Anonymous]

I’ll be the one repeating my two item shopping list under my breath as I try to navigate the store without being distracted. I do bring a list, but I usually forget to take it out of my pocket.

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[Anonymous]

Out of curiosity, does anyone else here find that they read (or reread) just about everything they set eyes on? I’ll read just about every street sign, signs at the store, etc that I set eyes on whether or not I know what it says ahead of time or not. It’s like I just can’t stop trying to absorb everything (information) that I come across.

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[Robbo]

>>>does anyone else here find that they read (or reread) just about everything they set eyes on? <<<

DaniV,

I can relate, more than I want to. I wrote this last night. When I was very tired and needed to go to bed. Some of it made me laugh so hard I almost busted my gut.

But I saved it n went to be.

my writing may be a pain in the butt to read, so take your time. I’m a little bit of an idiot. I ain’t no termite though. Shoot man write-n is hard! Give it a shot though. ukay?

It used to be much worse, (reading, writing) but in my case understanding the problem and focusing on the solutions here has helped me get better skills. We all have different combinations of ADHD symptoms. I take Wellbutrin for depression, but it also helps with ADHD for some people. That may be the edge that helped me, along with the encouragement I got from lot’s of folks here. There are tons of coping strategies and tools here, it’s a huge site. Be willing to spend a ton of time here. Read, re-read. Then read stuff again. I also have been helped tons by just watching the video’s here when reading was just too difficult. I still have days when reading is just hopeless. But those days happen much less often now that I’ve been working on living with the ADHD and recovering from the symptoms of it I can. Working harder is a big part of the solution, but working DIFFERENT! is really the golden key. My brain does not work the way the teachers in school expected it to, they didn’t understand ADHD struggles in the public schools I went to back in the 70’s. Nowadays there’s much more awareness, and understanding. We’re different, not broken, not useless. I feel broken and useless sometimes. But less nowadays. Sometimes I just feel like picking my nose and just giving up. But I don’t. Well, sometimes I do still pick my nose. Don’t you?, huh?…hehe what?, pardon me I didn’t hear that. OOOhh, so you don’t pick yer nose? Well so n so saw you driving and……. (justajoke)

Knowing I’m not alone, and seeing other people here actually recovering. Some of them so much that they were able to stop taking medications after different amounts of time. Some go through a gnastly awful kind of purgatory hell when the shrinks (plural) keep desperately trying to find the right combination of chemisty… they fail and it destroys their insides. I can only imagine. Not everyone even needs medication to deal with this crappy ADHD can of werms. I watched the DVD “ADD and Loving It?” almost, hmmm… about 10 times. I have a hard time counting too. I didn’t want to take my shoes n socks off so that’s why I wrote 10 times. (get it?, I’m 47 and gotta use my fingers to count. So more than 10, and I have to take my shoes n socks off) ;-P Just a little joke, I do that a lot here. (joke about our mizery) Pyoooo! gotta remember to wash those… We’re forgetful too… I almost forgot to mention that. Brain FART!

Ukay, take a break, there’s a bunch more. Tey kit eee zee. eeezee duzzz it…

So yep, it’s about much more than just reading. But that is one of the more emotionally draining and painful symptoms I’ve had to deal with. I think I might have slugs in my brain too, or maybe just snails… we shall see. Hmm, I think I heard a crunching sound. Two of the snails in my brain probably just crashed into eachother. They probably have ADHD too. Racing in my brain! AACK! Ayyy, cut it out you guys! for crying out loud, I’m trying to write here! (people look at me weird when I start yellin at my snails n slugs) So I don’t do that in public any more.

Kinda like my guitar, I don’t play with it in public any more. That’s obscene! I’m not a musician actually. That’s why I just say “I play WITH my guitar”. Garage band is the only band members who are willing to jam with me.

We’re accident prone too by the way. English is a difficult language. I think the grammar and spelling is just plain stupid!, but it’s the only language I know, so heck, guess I better figure it out, huh?

I’m a little freaky, but what do you expect, I’ve got ADHD for crying out loud! And I’ve been just listening to music and surfing around the web today. Farting around the house, didn’t get crap done… dang. I get a little bit more goofie when I can’t sleep. That’s a symptom I’ve herd a lot of folks complain about here too. It’s better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. I’ll grant you that.

Watch out for sharp sticks. Or just cover your eyes sometimes. No, never mind. Bad idea.

Hey, good job if ya got through reading this whole post. Not many folks can read all my gibberish. I can tell. None of my questions ever get answered. Probably cuz I’m a dip shit. It’s better than being a crap head.

K, I think that’s good enough to post.

Sun. 4:41 pm pst sunny Ca. (swimming pools, movie stars) 2/19/12

oh!! new idea!, I started writing the date n time at the bottom because of something I said on the “ask Jimi” thread.http://totallyadd.com/forum/topic.php?id=2286 ooops, I re-named it. Anywayzzzz my new idea is to say “all rights reserved” but I just remembered that I forgot to read all the End User Licence Agreement stuff when I tried to register, but failed mizerably, That’s when Jimi helped me and they passed around my goofie “quirky” emails around the office of totallyadd. What a bunch or real life Hero’s and I’m nefinitely not being sarcastic. They rock. But you guys know that, huh?

4:58 pm A.R.R

Totallyadd owns the copy rights to this, I’m just a dopey clown/self appointed pig rootin for truffles here. Go ahead and steal this tho, okay. I want to be famous.

Robert Field.

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[Robbo]

Wow! cool, I got done just in time to watch the Bill Moyers Journal on PBS, freaking AWSOME topic today… at 6:00 there’s a show about Chronic pain, I was gonna write notes n put em on the walls to help me remember to watch again. I watched it wed, at 7:00, that note is still stuck on my TV. Really good TV show. Helps me understand why I have such a hard time staying away from Weed.

Medicial Pot is a dangerous and possibly LETHAL idea for some. To me smoking pot is like Gasoline on the Fire that is ADHD… Just my strong apininon Ta hek with spillin. JMNSHO, just my not so humble opinoinotm Dang fingers!!! ugh.

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[Author]

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