ALL IN THE FAMILY!

[Anonymous]

As a non-AD/HDer, I just want to express my gratitude for the “ADD & LOVING IT?!” program and this website. When my public television station broadcast this program back in March, I taped it, having no one diagnosed in my family at the time, but had suspicions – especially after watching it!

I viewed the program with my 49 yo husband (to whom I’ve been married for 2 1/2 yrs), and as he watched, he became overwhelmed with the information he was hearing! We paused the program several times while he started to make the connection and fit the pieces together. He was feeling such great relief, saying it was like a huge weight was being lifted! We began our search for more information online by ordering books, reading this website and others, and looking for someone to diagnose locally. Thankfully, we received a diagnosis and my husband began Vyvanse a month ago. He is doing wonderfully and we continue to educate ourselves and work together.

That in itself is an awesome story! But there’s more! We ordered the DVD as we began to associate this new discovery with other members of our family. After sharing the DVD and other learned information, I was able to also get a long-overdue diagnosis for my 35 yo brother. He has been on Vyvanse for 2 weeks and is thrilled with the results.

I have also sent information to my 27 yo son, who has always struggled so with all of the AD/HD symptoms. In college he even took someone else’s medication to help him get through exams! He has no medical insurance, so I’m not sure what is ahead for him, but I’m hopeful that he will at least start to gather more information and start using tools and skills to make his life easier until he can gain the benefit of medication.

I am meeting with my parents tonight to share the DVD and information with them. I am almost certain my dad has struggled for years with this going undiagnosed. I am not sure if he will be open to something like this at his age, so I am presenting it in a way as to help my parents understand the others in our family. I also hope to relieve my mom of some of the guilt she’s carried for years as the non-AD/HD partner of an undiagnosed AD/HDer. Being one myself, I know how frustrating it is and how it takes it’s tole on the AD/HD partners.

My husband also suspects that his 23 yo son, and possibly 20 yo daughter, are also AD/HD. They live in another state, so the plan is to take the DVD to them and share the information as soon as he’s able.

But I have saved the best for last! I was married to my first husband for 25 yrs. After recently learning about AD/HD, I began to realize that having an undiagnosed AD/HD husband was a huge reason for the breakdown of our marriage and later, divorce. I began to heal my past relationship as I started to understand the financial problems, the lack of follow-through and unfulfilled promises, the extra-marital affair, and all of the other typical AD/HD symtoms. Even though we were in and out of therapy for years, no one diagnosed this! So I started to feel that it was my responsibility to draw this to my ex-husband’s attention. I could not “sit” on this information when I knew it would be life-changing for him – as he continues to struggle in his daily life. I sent him a letter with a lot of information on AD/HD and how it pertained to our failed marriage. I was not sure how it would be received, as we are not exactly on “friendly” terms. (We have 4 grown children together – so we are very civil at most.) I received an email from my ex-husband, thanking me for taking the time to share the information. He said he’s trying to remain open-minded and will research the possibility of this further. He also apologized for the past – something I have waited a very long time to hear!

So . . . as you can imagine – I am SO VERY THANKFUL for Rick and Patrick and everyone involved in the making of “ADD & LOVING IT?!” as well as everyone here for their support and willingness to share their life stories. It truly IS making a difference and has truly changed the lives of so many in my family alone.

Thank you.

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[Anonymous]

I love you for loving me the way you do…. I coud not be in this place of healing without you…. <3 jj

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[Anonymous]

As I watched the program on PBS I heard one of the drs say that often a person with ADD will partner with someone who is controlling and treats them like a 5th grade teacher would thinking it will help them. I did that. I married someone like that. I didn’t actually realize I have ADD until my son who I knew had it from about 6 years old was finally diagnosed at 11 and the counselor mentioned that it’s usually genetic and that most likely one of the two of us parents have it. Well, my husband in way no has it. He’s the opposite of someone with ADD, or even ADHD. So, she suggested I look up the symptoms on the internet. Wow, was it amazing to learn the why of so many things in my life.

But, since my sister was diagnosed young due to having the H in ADD while mine was undiagnosed until I was past 40 because of the lack of H. I think that often those that aren’t climbing the walls as kids and have impulse control go without a diagnoses and therefore will struggle long into adulthood. I can imagine how much better of a student I’d have been with a diagnoses and perhaps a medication that helped ease the inattention and disorganization. My 66 year old mother was just told she has ADD and been put on meds. My 11 year old struggles somewhat with the distraction and disorganization, but having ADD myself I’m procrastinating taking her to the dr.

In other words it certainly does run in families.

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[Anonymous]

both my little brother and I have been diagnosed. he was still in elementary school when he was diagnosed. he had a lot more disruptive hyperactivity. in spite of the fact that I struggled deeply with school, chores, friendships, my need for help was entirely overlooked because my wildly dysfunctional parents had too much else on their plates to notice, so I went undiagnosed until I was 27 and took the initiative to get help for myself. (I hear you, Lanakila000!)

although they both clearly remember the fact that I needed someone to sit with me through every single homework assignment, every single task, they still deny that I have ADD because I’m “so smart” and “just need to try.” even after I felt and showed vast improvement when I started meds, they looked down on me for it. mainly this is because when my brother was taking Adderall when we were kids my dad would steal it, even when my mom started hiding the bottle and counting the pills.

I also find it ironic that my parents literally force fed my brother Adderall for years when he was a kid while he cried and cried that it made him feel bad, but somehow my independent, informed adult decision to seek help, and my gratitude for how much it has changed my life for the better is not right and constantly questioned.

I am almost completely positive that my mom has debilitating ADHD. like me before I got help, her house is a disaster, she can’t hold her train of thought, she is a terrible listener, she interrupts, she consistently reports feeling completely overwhelmed by career and house work… on and on. but, she refuses to even consider the possibility of an ADHD diagnosis because, “sometimes it’s like I can just bury my head in something and without even realizing it several hours have passed.” I tried to explain to her that for many people ADHD has more to do with an inability to regulate attention than never being able to pay attention. I also reminded her that we saw the same things in my brother, and she has never denied his diagnosis.

I find that her unwillingness to get help for herself (which is a major theme in life at large) is starting to make me feel very resentful. I love my mom and I would love to see her feel the benefit and relief that I’ve experienced from treatment. I can see that in part this is based on my own hope that maybe recognizing her own condition would help her open her heart to my struggle. but, I also find that my threshold for listening to her complain while doing nothing to improve her situation has been surpassed several times over. for me, this feeling of helplessness was a major symptom of ADHD and as soon as I got help the difference was night and day.

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[billd]

My mother, her father, both exhibited strong signs. Especially my mother. Her father kept moving, grandmother finally just left things packed and she knew they’d move again.

Mom, well, classic stuff.

My son was diagnosed when quite young, and it’s obvious with him.

I always wondered “what was wrong with me” and why I was so smart, but never got anywhere, and had bad grades. After seeing Rick and Patrick’s film – now I know and have a formal diagnosis. MAYBE now that I know what it is – I can get help and be at least a LITTLE better, and understand the whys of it all.

Family? Oh, yeah, for sure!

Dad? No, but a great great great great grandfather is written about in an Ohio history book from the 1700s and is said to have “worked himself to death”.

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[Author]

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