Am I kidding myself and wasting others time?

[hanio29]

Hello Adders, I have some concerns that I’m wasting peoples time, because I wasn’t diagonsed as a child. About a year and half ago my attention was guided to ADHD and suddenly a lot of things make sense (my constant loosing of keys, dropping pieces of important paper in my hands, my attention span, being away with the fairies (my mothers words), not really listening (I can get some of the conversation, but some thing will catch my eye or i’ll hear something, or i’m procrastinating or thinking about what I might be doing for dinner, or what I would like for lunch or I really want a cat. I hated writing essay, exams, reading or anything that meant I had to use a lot of attention in order to get through it, unless it was something I enjoyed (hyperfocus baby, gotta love it). Now i’m thinking about the dinosaur that said “I’m the baby, gotta love me” good show. I also hated sitting on a chair and learning, doing things with my hands meant I produced much better work, even now – I tried studying graphic design, but because it meant sitting at a computer, I soon lost interest and moved to product design, more making stuff, which I’m good at. Lecture wondered how I managed to get so much do, again Hyperfocus, forgetting to eat and take breaks – just worked. I don’t tend to leave jobs, but move around a lot. I find I can get a bit bored doing the same thing, so jump to a different area to do something new, all practical based work.

My listening skills were quite shocking as a child, I am partically deaf in one ear so I think that might have been another reason people just let me be, but my mum use to say, I know you’re deaf, but I think you have selective hearing. I was  also diagonsed with Dyslexia in my final year of uni, which again explained a lot of things, but just other things, not so much.

I’m never late though and always got my work in time (although with a lot of mistakes, I don’t tend to check my work before handing it in). There has been and I know there will continue to be a lot of stress related issues around getting work done, I seem to have to work twice as hard as everyone else to get the written work done, hands on practical work doesn’t always seem to be an issue. So even though I get the work done and handed in, there are careless mistakes and I feel utterly exhausted and find it difficult relax.

I know there are people out there who have it much worse than me, always being late and struggling to get work done, so I just feel I’m kidding myself and being an attention seeker, because whilst I stress about getting my work done and forget to take breaks and generally look after myself when I know there is a deadline due, I still get the work done. What do I do? I hope this all makes sense. Please help… I just know when I read the list and because I’m not late or don’t interupt I’m kidding myself.

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[hanio29]

I guess i’m looking for support and encouragment to keep going, if not, I’d rather you guys be honest with me and tell me to get a grip and don’t over thinking it all.

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[RitaFaye]

Hello. I haven’t been on for awhile and just saw your post. First of all, no one here will diagnose you. You need to see a doctor for that, hopefully one that specializes in adult ADHD. But you absolutely can have it and not have been diagnosed as a child. I was not diagnosed until after age 40, and had done very well in school. I did so well that when I forgot stuff and was disorganized, it was considered eccentric. I also never turned in a late assignment or was late myself. Usually I tried for 10 minutes early. But adulthood became tougher and tougher and overwhelming, and that finally led to my seeking out a diagnosis. I was fortunate, a psychologist friend referred me to a local psychiatrist that specializes in adult ADHD. He’s excellent.

And you could also be a kinetic learner (someone who learns best by doing), which would cause restlessness in lecture classes and while writing. Combined with an active mind, it could cause some of the issues you mentioned.

I am not one to diagnose, but the key factor is whether you feel your behaviours are having a negative effect on your life. (My clue was when my home office reached the point it could be featured on an episode of “Hoarders.” And being overwhelmed by my schedule and my child’s.) If you feel you are more-or-less on track, with maybe occasional bad days, then perhaps you don’t have it or don’t need a diagnosis. If you feel your life is starting to feel out of control, perhaps having an evaluation done would be beneficial.

Good luck to you.

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