Anger and Frustration

[squirrelygirl]

Anyone have these issues, and what have you learned that helps?

Today I woke up just feeling shitty, and I could tell I was just in one of those moods.  Irritable. I couldn’t find my slippers and just got angrier and more frustrated the longer I couldn’t find them. My dogs were being a bit nutty as I was being nutty, and they were pissing me off – I found myself so angry and irritated by them, but I’m sure they were just feeding off of me 🙁   I can get so wound up with this syndrome.  I also had a time limit since friends were coming over to do an activity and I was running out of time to get stuff done before they came and found myself zooming to and fro, as I manically tried to tackle all the small things that I needed to do…But could I possibly set my alarm to get up earlier so I’d have more time?  NOoooo!

When I get like that I am even more prone to make mistakes.

Anyone else get like this, feel this way?  I really felt like I was slipping down a hole.  Anger management issues!  Not fun.

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[yassmtm]

@squirrelygirl – I’ve been in your shoes kinda, I used to give up when I was younger and I felt like I can’t handle the situation but as I’ve grown up I can’t do it any more so I’m constantly under way too much stress and things start to fall apart and gets worse. I need to have more control over things and when I lose control and I’m on the edge, a little poke from anyone and I’ll just snap, either angry outburst or I just cry like I’ve lost someone!
I’m stubborn and that makes things worse for me I guess.

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[squirrelygirl]

yassmtm, I’m also stubborn!  My husband says I’m stubborn, sensitive, hypersensitive about criticism, and I know I’m easily frustrated and can be snappy when I’m in these moods. And yes, when I lose it, he says I get myself so worked up – I can be wailing like the world is ending!  Then, when I look back on the episode, I think wow, what the heck was that all about?  Geesh!  I used to also get really depressed during these episodes, feeling like a total loser.  I’m really done with being like that!

Recently, my husband asked me to put away garden tools that were out (because I used them and didn’t put them away, ahem) because a storm was coming.  I thought I got everything, tried really hard to accomplish that goal before he came home.  He later approached me and said that I said I had put the tools away but there were still tools laying all over…well, I guess I overlooked some things…

I fell down the rabbit hole…went down to the shop and stormed around putting stuff back, got so worked up I started crying, and then the inner dialogue started about how incompetent I was, useless, a loser…I basically had myself hysterical with all of this…My hubby came and found me like this, and gave me a hug and apologized about being a jerk saying what he said, that he forgot how sensitive I can be, and he was sorry.

I went to a counselor who talked about “grounding” exercises.  I have to admit that a) I forget to do it and b) I’m not comfortable doing it, my mind fighting me all the way, trying to squirrel around all over the place…but one time I actually tried to do it when I was feeling I was losing it, and it did help me come back down to earth.   Well, today I forgot to do it, AND I was just in such a state I don’t think I could have done it if I’d tried!

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[yassmtm]

OMG I just wrote way too much and posted it but got the error that says Your reply cannot be created at this time!

I’m about to lose it right now. there is no way I can remember what I wrote and can’t spend another 20 minutes writing and organizing :(((((((((((

F***********************K

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[squirrelygirl]

yassmtm, LOL!  Well, I wrote way too much and managed to get it posted!  that’s another issue – not being able to be concise!  Well, I empathize with you 🙂

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[squirrelygirl]

BTW, yassmtm, have you been officially diagnosed?  I haven’t, but am starting the process.  The doc doing the testing identified anxiety and OCD for sure – I probably have all the greatist hit comorbidities – I’ll be completely shocked if he determines I DON’T have ADD!

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[yassmtm]

@squirrelygirl – I feel like this forum is testing my patience! I wrote another message (not too long) and I got the same error again.

but yea I went to a doctor because I couldn’t cope with my depression anymore and the stress on me was effecting everyone around me. And he diagnosed me with adhd.

he actually talked to my parents and sister as well before he diagnoses me.

since I’ve learned I am way less depressed. I actually think that its gone (if thats possible). As I’m educating myself and connecting some dots, a lot of things are making sense and I feel better.

I hope this one posts..
I have to go out of the door now but there is a video I have to find and share it with you.

Have a good day!

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[yassmtm]

@squirrelygirl – I feel like this forum is testing my patience! I wrote another message (not too long) and I got the same error again.

but yea I went to a doctor because I couldn’t cope with my depression anymore and the stress on me was effecting everyone around me. And he diagnosed me with adhd.

he actually talked to my parents and sister as well before he diagnoses me.

since I’ve learned I am way less depressed. I actually think that its gone (if thats possible). As I’m educating myself and connecting some dots, a lot of things are making sense and I feel better.

I hope this one posts..
I have to go out of the door now but there is a video I have to find and share it with you.

Have a good day!

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[squirrelygirl]

That’s is great news, yassmtm!  Sounds like you are young so having this figured out sooner than later will really make your life better 🙂  I’m and have had depression most of my life, but I now realize it’s likely secondary to ADD.  A friend who also has ADD and was diagnosed when he was a kid told me that he always thought I was ADD, which is what got me investigating it.  When I read about it, everything clicked and I realized that it was what had caused my depression all along, always feeling inadequate, incompetent, never living up to self-imposed expectations and potential.  Since learning about this, I, too, have felt much less depressed and even went off the anti-depressant I had been on for many years! I do feel that my depression was always more situational, though probably do have a little bit of physiological depression underlying everything – my grandmother was purported to be manic-depressive.

Anyway, I’m happy for you and both of us need to remind ourselves when we find ourselves having negative thoughts that it is the ADD/ADHD!

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[BabafredDenandenanda]

I write software.

When things are moving along nicely and smoothly, everything is wonderful. I find myself in “the zone” and all is well.

Then, when I hit a roadblock, it all falls apart. My desk has dents in it from me slamming my hands down on it – my wedding ring has dented the surface of the desk. I curse, scream, and have actually hurt myself in the temper tantrums I have had over my work.

My wife hates it when I get like that – and I don’t blame her; but when the thing doesn’t do what it is supposed to do, over and over and over again, I blow my stack.

I’m sure it’s an ADHD thing, because it seems to fall hand-in-hand with the emotional sensitivity that I’ve been learning about.

What’s the solution? I honestly don’t know; but know this:

You are not alone.

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[Patte Rosebank]

@BabafredDenandenanda, have you thought about putting a punching bag in your office?  Seriously!  It’s a much more effective way of venting your frustration, without hurting yourself or your desk…or that precious wedding ring.

Those scary tantrums are just (“just”!) what happens when your brain and body are so overwhelmed that they can’t take any more. Often, we don’t see them coming, because we’re so caught up in what we’re doing. We’re not too mindful of ourselves at the best of times, and when we’re under high-stress is NOT the best of times.

But if we can be mindful of the pressures that are building up, maybe we can do something to stop them before they blow up. This takes practice, and I’m still working on it, myself, but it does help me. I’ve learned that if I don’t give myself a complete time-out when my body is telling me I need it, I’ll have one heck of a meltdown. (Now, if I can just remember that I’ve learned this…)

Can you do a little visualization for me?

Picture yourself hard at work at your desk, on a typical project. You’ve been in the zone for a couple of hours, without a break, but now you’ve hit a roadblock.

What’s going on in your brain right now?

How does it feel?

What are you thinking about in that moment?

Now, what about your body?

How do your head and jaws feel?

How do your neck and shoulders feel?  (My chiropractor calls these the “holy s*** muscles”.)

How do your hands and arms feel?

How does your back feel?

How does your stomach feel?

Now…  Remember those thoughts and feelings. Next time you’re working, try to be alert to them, as they start sneaking up on you.

Before they get to be too much, take a time-out, and physically release that frustration by getting up and moving!

Beat the crap out of your punching bag (if you’ve set one up in your office). Go for a brisk walk. I’ve even found that belting out forceful showtunes works wonders…though people tend to look at me funny if I do it while I’m out walking.

After that, go to a quiet place, take some deep breaths, and try tackling that roadblock again.

Let me know if this works for you!

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