Blind leading the blind? ADD parent assessing (presumably) ADD child?

[ellamama]

My nearly 7 y.o. daughter is scheduled for her very own ADD assessment next month. ADD mama’s so proud In preparation, we’ve received a pile of behavioral assessments. They’ve asked all her teachers fill out individual assessments, but my DH and I are supposed to have one parental assessment. My DH is a lovely man, but–in all honesty–I don’t know how good he is at assessing her behavior. I don’t know if it’s a Mars/Venus thing or what, but he simply doesn’t notice all her “little” behaviors. Unless something’s breaking or somebody’s crying or bleeding things are regarded as okay. On the other hand, I’m noticing all the little things (tongue chewing, hair twirling, humming, squirming, etc.). I’m thinking of copying the forms and provinding separate mom and dad assessments. Any other suggestions? Ideas?

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[Curlymoe115]

Why don’t you write up what you see on a lined piece of paper. Give it to DH and let him read it then if he has anything to add he can add it to the bottom and then you can transpose it onto the form. If dad is basically oblivious to the behaviours then that is going to be reflected on his form. Then your assessor is going to have to compare dads assessment with everyone else’s. Much easier for him to read one parental form with both yours and DH’s assessment together especially if dad isn’t great about spotting abnormality. And if he is married to an ADD and a lot of your 7 year olds behaviours are like yours maybe he just thinks its normal.

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[ellamama]

We did our assessments separately and then compaired notes. Most of the time we were “on the same page” but my DH totally missed the “little behaviors”. There was a question about thumb sucking. I answered “often” because although my DD doesn’t suck her thumb, she does suck her other fingers, hair, clothing, and will mouth just about anything she holds idly in her hands. I explained this to my DH and he said, “But the question asked about thumb sucking.”

*sigh* My DH’s (ironically enough) a neurologist. When I described this whole issue to the pediatric neurologist we visited yesterday she just laughed, “Oh, he’s just a neurologist.” That said, she explained that it’s not uncommon to have any parents offer widely differing assessments. She further commented that she never relies on fathers/men to assess social issues, i.e., what a child’s friends and their social interactions are like.

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[Anonymous]

Ellamama, It wasnt until you said it that I realized my 8 year old DD does the same thing as your daughter. She is always putting stuff in her mouth (chews her hair, chews on the clips for her hair, pencils etc.) She is also constantly humming or having to make sounds in one way, shape or form. Drives my DH and I nuts, but now I now that it is a symptom of ADD. She was just diagnose 5 months ago so I am still learning. The biggest learning curve for me what when I was diagnosed with ADD last month. My DD is so thrilled that I have it to and can understand her quirks more.

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