Boiling over

[Anonymous]

When I get frustred, it’s like a pot boiling over. The rage builds and I lose my temper and I wind up taking my frustrations out on myself. I think I’ve always had anger/frustration issues, where I just have to scream or hit something, but within the last few years (just before I was diagnosed with ADHD) have I developed the impulse to direct it physically at myself. I’ve managed to take a suitable dose of anti-anxiety (resisted taking too much) and I seem to be calming down now. But now I feel really unhappy and upset. This sucks.

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[Curlymoe115]

The way I see it you have 3 choices. You can go to a doctor and get him to put you on anti-psychotics which will suppress the rage and help you deal with it a little better or you can try to calm and sooth yourself with yoga or relaxation exercises, or maybe go for the opposite and push yourself to exercise until you feel yourself coming out of the red rage. . If it is intermittent you should try the relaxation or exercise but if it is becoming a dominant force you should be talking to your doctor and getting a prescription and counselling.

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[Anonymous]

It’s kind of a catch22 – by the time my anger has got the better of me, it’s hard to be rational and let those parts take over and calm me down. I’m not due to visit my doctor for a couple more weeks, but I’m resisting anti-psychotics – I haven’t had great experiences with them. And he hasn’t shown a great concern over my rage – perhaps because he hasn’t seen me when I’m really losing control.

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[Lindstr7]

Guy – you know yourself better than your doctor and if it is a concern for you, don’t let it go. Tell your Dr. that your rage frightens you, and what you just stated above, “he hasn’t seen me when I’m really losing control”. I’ve found that with doctors, YOU have to steer the converstion or they will just go through the motions, and if they’re not actually seeing it, they tend to brush it off. You only have a certain amount of time allotted, so use it wisely. You don’t want to find yourself in a situation where you are unable to control the rage and hurt yourself. Its smart of you to be addressing this. Also, not sure if your on meds or not but stimulants might not be the best thing for someone with those impulses. Be sure and get a proper diagnosis by someone you feel comfortable with and trust. If your doctor isn’t listening, find someone else who will.

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[Anonymous]

Thanks for the reply, Lindstr – normally my medication helps smooth out the rough edges so I can deal with my frustrations in a rational manner. But they do very little to help me stay focused. Which, of course, frustrates me. Yesterday was a bad day. I’m hoping today will be better.

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[Lindstr7]

Guy- Yeah we all have those days. Hope today is better for you too. Just remember to bring it up with your doctor, you might want to discuss your meds at next appt. You never know, an adjustment might be needed, especially if you’ve not discussed the anger/rage issue as part of your treatment. Sometimes getting the right meds or “cocktail” of meds takes a few tries…. a few milligrams more or less, might make a difference, ya know?

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[Anonymous]

Yeah, I just don’t get it. It seemed like I was taking “pre-emptive” measures against my anger and rage several times yesterday and I still wound up throwing several tantrums – banging on the walls and the floor. It’s a bottled up rage that I can only release in small amounts – I’d only feel worse if I fully gave into it.

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[Lindstr7]

If I had that issue, I might consider channeling that rage into something like martial arts. Break a board or something When I lived in San Francisco, every morning in the park I saw a bunch of people doing tai chi. I’m not sure I’d have the patience for it, but it seems pretty meditative. I hear yoga is a favorite and i think I might give that a go. I REALLY think you should talk to your doctor about it, it must be pretty scary for you.

I have a brother who used to rage (at himself) and I think he uses jogging to release that energy. I don’t live near him anymore so I don’t know if its still helping or not. Every time I read your posts, I worry for you. I don’t know you so I don’t know if its something that can be controlled through meds or therapy, but is it possible you may have had some issues (parents not supportive? poor self-esteem?) possibly from childhood (in my brothers case, our mother died on his birthday), that maybe therapy could help you get to the root of.

Hope today is a good day for you. Next time you want to rage at yourself, think of you as a little boy who needs protecting and practice some self-love

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[Anonymous]

When every I am mad or unhappy, I find a way to blame myself. I’m mad that I cannot control my emotions at a better level than a child. I’m mad that I must thrash and scream.

And any fault that happens in this world is my fault. Anyone’s frustration becomes my frustration. I want a vacation. From me.

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[Anonymous]

I think this video of Donald Duck in the first few minutes of “Cured Duck” sums up my situation:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1K4iB7E8FOQ

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[Anonymous]

TheGameBoy. I relate to your comment “whenver i am mad or unhappy, i find a way to blame myself.” I think Pink best sums it up with her song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_t9AA3Z4PE&feature=related

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[Author]

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