BOREDOM!

[Carrie]

Now that the kids are back in school (THANK GOODNESS) and I no longer play video games, and I am no longer in school myself, and I have no hobbies or interests, and Ive recently moved to a new place where I don’t know anybody….

IM BORED!! I can’t deal with the boredom!! I thought my meds killed that “itch”! Having to go somewhere do something! By my second day off work im itching to get out of the house. Cabin fever to the max! Not quite the Shining but it feels like it at times! My last two days off Ive gotten the kids off to school and then slept from 8am until 3pm when I have to go pick them up from the bus… And then after dinner I go nuts even more so.

I am irritable, and just need to GET OUT!! Last week I got drunk. That killed some time, but I insist on only drinking Crown Royal and that gets expensive! Ive been watching a lot of Monty Python which IS AWESOME but im still trapped in here when I can be OUT THERE! I don’t have any friends – which is no different from where I moved – solely because im scared of people. I HATE small talk! I dont know how to socialize! I’m scared of people! I would feel much more comfortable if I had to wear a big gorilla suit then let people see me! Least we would have something to talk about and only the crazy ones like myself would talk to me. Its so bad I dont want to go out into my yard fearing my neighbors may come outside at the exact same time and I will have to talk to them! I try to go out and come back in as quick as I can! STEALTH MODE!

No I don’t have any hobbies or interests. Well I do…. But I get so bored of them so quickly. BLEH!

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[nellie]

Hiya Carrie,

I know what you mean about getting bored, that feels horrid.

But somehow I remember we’ve had this conversation before, way back when ? Wasn’t there some thread that cantered on needing adventure and getting outside?

I know if I don’t get outdoors during the day I am totally rattled. Thank goodness for my dogs who never cease to remind me if I forget

Walking, hiking, biking, swimming, horseback riding are all ideas that don’t really require interaction with people.

And if I remembered wrong and you hate the outdoors …never mind… : -)

(PS – as much fun as getting drunk can be , keep in mind how bad you’d feel once the dust settled if you were called in to your kid’s school for an emergency and you were six sheets to the wind!)

Oh and who’s the dude in your avatar? ????

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[Carrie]

Yes I LOVE the outdoors but I dont like going alone. I like to be with someone, but I dont have friends, only family, and often they are busy doing their own thing. I want a dog for this reason, but where we are living now it just wouldn’t work. I guess I could just get some headphones and head out with my music, try to find somewhere where there isnt anybody. Explore on my own.

I NEVER drink if I have to take care of kids even if they are at school for that very reason. I drink once my husband is home, but not much. Im never DRUNK, only a little buzz, IF that. Maybe once a week. My aunt is concerned about my drinking though. I don’t think I drink that much, maybe im in denial! hahaha Well I never feel guilty after I drink. I always remember what happened. I never have a hangover or feel like I need a drink in the morning. I asked my husband if I am causing problems in the family because of it. He said no. He would be the first to tell me because HE HATES alcohol. Ive never missed work, it has never affected my work in anyway. I never drink and drive, I refuse to. I drink after a night shift once the kids are in bed or once my husband is home and im going crazy from being in the house all day! I go to my uncles house, have a drink, play a couple games of crib and come home. Never drunk because I wont drink and drive home and its too far to walk. Alcoholism does run deeply in my family, im aware of that risk. Its not a problem yet and im not denying it could be very easily.

Yeah, I think I just need to get outside once a day. That would be good. Just have to get over it and be a big girl and go all by myself!

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[Carrie]

Oh! And my avatar is John Cleese! My husband says I make that face all the time hahahahaha

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[Misswho23]

hey Carrie.

Love John Cleese and my best friend form childhood is named Carrie. Just read your post and yea being bored is frustrating. I bought a house and have not been bored in 7 years. However I did develop a cute little habit (sarcasm) of drinking a wee bit every day. I’m a people person but there are times when I just can’t handle being around people or new people. My drinking didn’t cause me any problems for some time but it increased my ADHD symptoms a lot so then it became a problem. I haven’t drank in over a year now. Mostly to not have to go through the amped up symptom problem.

But I guess the reason why I bring it up is that I got into the habit of it after work because I didn’t like anyone I worked with and had to spend all day with them. So by the time I got home I would be pretty pent up. I can’t tell you how many “parties of one” I would have watching Monty Python and reciting the Holy Grail to myself. I am quite the one woman show. But the drinking did end up causing me problems with my boyfriend and with me getting things accomplished. And after a while even my pets got tired of my “show”.

When I went through a phase several years ago after college when I didn’t really have any friends I joined a gym and got a trainer so I wouldn’t have to think about the other people there. That way I could just focus on what he was telling me. I had a big phobias of gyms. I also went on a lot of hikes and looked up local places that host hikes etc. That way the people you are with have a similar interest and if you really don’t want to talk to anyone you can just say your enjoying the scenery. Or you can always keep conversation about the activity at hand so you don’t have to come up with a lot of small talk. You may end up with a hiking buddy.

Or maybe a book club. Just thinking of things that would direct any conversation towards something. So you don’t have to go “Hi I’m new here and I need some friends so I don’t go crazy”.

I had agoraphobia when I was a teenager so I get the fear of people thing. I just had to focus on getting to a point A to a Point B so I wouldn’t freak out. But it took some practice to get over it and comfortable with people again. I don’t really suffer from it anymore but once in a while there are things I really don’t want to do by myself because I get too nervous.

I have too many hobbies. Want one of mine? I started making wire wrapped Sea Glass jewelry as a way to keep my hands occupied since I tend to fidget and tap my fingers and feet a lot. Then I decided to start selling it. Now it’s turned into a whole other thing.

I also garden a lot. You would never guess how many people at local garden places want to talk about their favorite seeds. Or tomatoes. Or whatever they are growing.

Or like you said just go out with the head phone on and music. That can help to block out a lot of inner chatter.

Rambling on… Don’t know if any of this helps. But I like talking to other people with ADD about this kind of stuff. My friends are understanding to a point but still really don’t know how it is living with this stuff every day. So for me it’s a relief to finally get to talk about it.

Better get back to work. I’m on a deadline and will be up for sometime tonight. I work at home so I’ve been in my office for the last few days and you (this site) Is about my only outside contact for the last couple of days. I feel John Cleese coming on.

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[nellie]

Oh geez Carrie, that figures, I wouldn’t recognize a celebrity if I tripped over one!!!

getting out with headphones is a great idea if it helps. Personally I love walking in the woods and listening to the birds or even the silence. I find it really quiets my mind. Unfortunately I’m rushing most of the time when I walk my dogs because I’ve got so much other stuff to do. But when I force my self to slow down I feel so much better. Dunno there’s just something about the outdoors that’s good for the soul.

Misswho ( love your little owl btw!) I also work from home on a project basis and I find it is really isolating.Although I love the freedom I often find it hard to keep on task.

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[Misswho23]

Hey thanks nellie! Actually I found it on the internet. I wanted to illustrate one but that one looked so cute! And I have a thing for hats.

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[Amy]

You’re welcome to come to my house to finish the eleventy billion projects I have going on… especially painting my cabinets!

Amy

http://acatwithadhd.com

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[Tiddler]

People make that face at me all the time! I love John Cleese too.

Been cleaning all day. Now have piles of crap all over the floor. And dining table.

And now I have to go pick up the kids so the piles will bleed into each other and the charity shop books will bleed into the ebay books and the pile of DVDs with no cases will slide against stuff and get scratched and the library books will get lost in the chaos and I’ll get a big bill for them and…I’m going to TRY not to let that happen this time!

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[Patte Rosebank]

Have you ever seen John Cleese’s “How to Irritate People”? It’s on YouTube (of course).

It’s a one-off, classic comedy sketch show, from 1968. Some of the methods it demonstrates are things that people with ADHD do a lot.

For example, the old ladies who keep talking through the movie. And the parents, who won’t let their son & his fiancee watch TV in peace. And the socially awkward man who keeps “fussing” his date, in a restaurant.

But being aware of the irritating things we do, doesn’t necessarily mean we can stop ourselves when we start doing them!

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[Patte Rosebank]

Beware of booze. Alcohol is a depressant, which will actually make you feel worse. Chocolate, on the other hand…

Seriously, if you’re drinking booze to feel better, then you’re self-medicating. It’s especially dangerous if you’re doing it in secret, after the kids have gone to bed, etc. That’s alcoholic behaviour, even if it’s only a glass or two each time, and it’s a very slippery slope.

Far better to be properly diagnosed, and medicating with the right meds, properly prescribed.

In the meantime, exercise. Try going for a walk in a neighbourhood that’s not your own, so the novelty of exploring it gives you something interesting to look at. Even if you have to take a bus to get there, it’s worth it. I’m easily bored, so I’ll go walkies in different neighbourhoods, especially ones with older, interesting buildings.

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[Carrie]

MissWho – Thats kinda where im at. Out of college, two years into my career (which im already sick of… well just bored with my workplace) and no friends. Ive often talked with my ADD coach about trying to make friends but I just can’t do it. I do like to make things. I do macrame and I love beads and rocks. Been trying to wire wrap my rocks but dont have the patience to read or follow directions. Problem with my macrame is that it takes me along time because I can’t plan ahead. I make it up as I go then I choose to change one thing so I have to undo all my knots and then just get tired and stop. Classically, I have a lot of half done macrame projects.

Nellie- I do love listening to the birds. I love birds. When ever I go for hikes I bring my nature book with me and look at all the plants, bugs, trees and birds and try to identify them. I LOVE IT! Im really thinking about getting a small to medium sized dog to keep my company on my adventures!

Larynxa – HOW TO IRRITATE PEOPLE! YES! I LOOOOOOOOOVE IT!! They are AWESOME sketches! Yes I should just avoid the alcohol slope. I do have the right medication. On ADD meds plus anti-depressant (BOTH LIFE CHANGING!). I would love to go for walks but I am too scared of people and dont want to go alone. A dog is looking better and better each day. Though Ive never been much of a dog person. I prefer cats. But a cat on a leash doesnt work so well…

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[Misswho23]

I have a dog and three cats. Balances out the crazy cat lady thing. Which is funny because I’ve always been a dog person. I love having a dog to go do things with. Just make sure your ready for the commitment and I would choose a breed that fits your personality.

Personaly I rescue older dogs because they are already house broken and less hyper and don’t need a lot of training. I have a golden retriever. The temperament suits mine. My boyfriend had a pit bull mix and she was a great dog but I’m not that of an assertive type to keep that breed in line.Don’t get me wrong I love pits but I would have had problems.

Maybe even a smaller breed. If I remember right you live in the city? One good thing about a dog when I go to the dog parks it’s easy to talk to people because we are all talking about our dogs. I know the dogs name and have no idea what the owners names are.

Opps just read you are looking for a smaller breed. Think about a little older one form a shelter. It’s worked really well for me.

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[nellie]

Carrie,

Re” I would love to go for walks but I am too scared of people and dont want to go alone.”

Do you really mean your are just uncomfortable around people you don’t know, don’t know what to say etc.? You have kids and family so I assume you can’t be that afraid of them ( especially since you managed to have kids in the first place – haha)

Although, I know that sort of anxiety is no laughing matter. One of my kids has a really hard time that way too and has few friends. Although she is making an incredible effort by joining all sorts of clubs at school.

That said, Mutual interests are always great ways to meet people. Dogs are great conversation starters. I know all the people on my street with dogs and often walk and chat with some of them. Never been invited to a party mind you but al least I’m not completely anti-social

In terms of mutual interests, have you considered joining a birding club? Birders are very passionate but don’t talk all that much during the birding part since they don’t want to scare away the birds!

And I agree with Misswho, adopting an older dog is a great way to go. Make sure to choose a shelter that pairs people with dogs according to personality etc. It might take longer to get a dog that way but it’ll be worth it in the long run. If you take in a problem dog and aren’t used to dealing with dogs it might end up being a disaster.

Anyway, as usual everything on my mind is now in print whether anyone wanted my opinion or not

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[allan wallace]

Carrie, that opening post had me in stitches! 😆 Isn’t it just an immense relief to just read these posts and know that it’s not just you? Reading so much of this stuff is like reading about myself, and I’m so sick of being told how useless, lazy, stupid, and irresponsible I am. I reached the point of not giving a flying proverbial what other people might think, but it does hurt when those that are supposed to be closest to us echo the hecklers….

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[Author]

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