Bossy Delegator??

[kountrykennedy]

Sorry for being so long! We have had a group paper due on Tuesday (5 people per group)! and ever since the class (Jan 28th), I have felt like I have been pushing my group so hard to get things done. In the field we had about 4 hours to complete the lab, I got stuck with taking data notes, because nobody else wanted to do it. It was fine in the first hour and a half, but as things progressed, I started to get more frustrated and impatient with my group… Even my Prof saw and understood why I was. As a recorder things have to be done a specific way and order so all the data is correct. But they started to rush things, just to get it all done. I ended up getting all confused with numbers because they were throwing them all together at once. I specifically said “Slow down and one at a time.” I tried hand off the data so someone else could do (Prof said that was the right call because they were not making my job easy-still ended up doing it all though).  I told the group members, what has to be done, when it has to be done for and what still needs to be done for the paper. I was on their butts about getting things done. I hate having things left for the last minute. Anyway, I finished all my work in 2 days (I tend to become really focused when I want things done, so I can finish my other 500 list of things). Some haven’t even started their stuff until yesterday, I told them they have to do it! Urge! I’m taking the weekend off from school, told them what has to be done. Thankfully one of my good friends in the group understands. I have done all the data, materials and methods and I am still having to edit the paper when I get back (luckily with help). I feel really bossy, but things do have to get done, we’ve had a month to work on it. I don’t understand why sometimes I can be this focused and coordinate people, but almost 24/7 my brain is all over the place and mind is wandering…???

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[L8ly Lost]

Unfortunately – despite your best efforts  .  . . you cannot change others.  Nor can you influence them if they don’t see you as a person of authority.  It seems that your prof understands your situation . .  gotta learn to let it go, and take responsibility for Your stuff – ONLY.  You’re probably not ‘bossy’ – you just want the ‘team’ to be as dedicated and responsible to the task as you, as it affects your outcome.  But they’re not.   . . . . .    As for ‘focused’ and ‘scattered’ .. . it comes with the territory.  Way back when – long before I was diagnosed with ADD, I did not have much of a reputation in college as a good (?) student .  . too scattered and unfocused . .   but my Junior year, with the first ‘true’ technical paper due, I (unintentionally) waited until the last week or so, then cranked out my paper.  My prof wrote:  “Outstanding!  You truly are an underachiever” . . . .   To this day (25+ years later), I ‘need’ that crisis focus to do my best work.  I don’t like it.  I wish I could change it.  But here I am.  You have the benefit of knowing your disability at a young age – with great resources like this website to find and build the tools to help you succeed.  I was not diagnosed until I was 41.   . . .  I suspect you will learn the techniques that help you manage this ‘condition’.  Small, but consistent, steps . .   and don’t be too hard on yourself for wanting to succeed, particularly when steps are out of your hands.

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